Reading · The Nonlinear Life

This is a guest post by Esther Perel, shared this morning on her essential Substack Between Us. Thank you for inviting me, Esther!

The coffee drinkers among us know the soothing power of a daily ritual. For many, it’s not the taste of the bitter, brown drink, but the ritual of its brewing that makes it an essential part of the day’s rhythm. To make a cup of coffee, we briefly retreat from the momentum of the morning, tapping into our senses, delicately manipulating water, heat, and grounds into the comforting elixir that soothes our passage from sleep to wakefulness.

Rituals are routines elevated by creativity, driven by intention, and imbued with meaning. They ease us through life’s big transitions—birth, first day of school, graduation, marriage, death—and its small ones, like waking up in the morning. Today, we often hunger for ritual but are unsure how to create it (or are unaware of how deeply steeped in ritual we already are). Bruce Feiler, my dear friend and colleague, has written a wonderful new book, A Time To Gather: How Ritual Created The World—And How It Can Save Us, that demystifies what ritual is, and how to practice it with intention.

From The Council of Dads, Bruce’s account of asking six friends to serve as surrogate fathers for his twin daughters after he received a cancer diagnosis, to A Time To Gather, Bruce is well-versed on life’s transitions and how to navigate them. His extensive body of work stands out as one that will not only carry you through life, but help you to experience it tenderly, intentionally, and among others.

I’m curious, what rituals do you practice in your everyday life? How did you create them and how do they inform your experience? Tell me in the comments.

Some bonuses: Read Bruce’s viral New York Times Opinion Essay ‘This is the Antidote to a Lonely Life of Screens.”

Watch Bruce’s interview about A TIME TO GATHER on CBS Mornings:

See Bruce on Tour:

Sunday, June 7, 4:30 PM. Palisades Free Library. Info here.

Tuesday, June 9, 7PM. Sidney Isenberg Lecture Series of the Atlanta History Center. Info here.

Thursday, June 11, 6:30-8:30PM. E. Shaver Booksellers in Savannah, GA, Starland location. Info here.

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Thank you for reading The Nonlinear Life. This is a reader-supported newsletter. You can support my work by ordering a copy of A Time to Gather or any of my other books. Click on the photo below to learn more.

ORDER A TIME TO GATHER