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While for the boys in my family, my parents found male examples in our community to appreciate and point out as sources of inspiration, for myself and my sisters, women were used as examples to discourage us. It could have been the unmarried aunt, the divorcee cousin who refused to marry again, or the widow who never allowed her grief to prevent her from enjoying life. She could have had her own apartment, a travel passport stuffed with stamps, an expensive collection of handbags, or even the sheer audacity of using an entire Sunday afternoon for herself, however, that was never referred to as freedom; it was always a warning.
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