Telly returned. Angry Man. GFT: Angry Man II.

It was the day I’d been dreading. The day that I’d be taking back the telly that I bought, cos it doesn’t work very well. Would they give me a refund? Would I get there and they’d say I’d have to phone some number first, in front of a queue? Would they insist that I get a replacement and not a refund? And if so, what would I do?

Well, their Returns folk messaged me back via WhatsApp, asking what the problem was. I told them, and they listed various troubleshooting ideas. I said I’d tried all that (and I was being truthful, for most of it), and they said okay, they’d give me a refund. They emailed me a return order number that I was to show at the shop, and that would be that. Fucking yes!

Here is how our pleasant conversation ended…

I went up the toon with the telly, handed it in, showed the number, and that was it. Didn’t have to explain myself all over again or anything. Lovely stuff.

I had lunch and then went to the pictures. I was thinking of going to see the new 28 Years Later film, even though I didn’t like the last one. But I decided to go and see Sentimental Value instead, at the GFT (Glasgow Film Theatre).

On my way there, there was some angry guy in his 40s, kind of shouting to himself. He was shouting at people in the distance behind him, calling them pricks or cunts or something, but they were so far away that there was no way anybody was hearing him. He sounded a bit like Muttley when he’s pissed off.

He was heading my way, and because there was nobody about except me and him, I suspected that I’d be getting shouted at next. He was that type of guy.

So I looked away from him when I walked by, to make myself invisible. Cos if I can’t see him, he can’t see me.

But he saw me, and he said something like “And you can get tae fuck ya fucking…”, and then I could only make out two words: “bald” and “grey”.

I kept walking, and looked back after a while, and he was still shouting at nothing. As I was looking at him, somebody passed me and said “Love your stuff” or “Love your work”.

What a rollercoaster.

I got to the GFT, and the film was showing in screen 3, which I’ve never been in. It’s just a wee one, as you can see from the picture.

It was about 20 minutes before the start of the film (or the start of the trailers), and there was only me and that guy there. Nice and empty.

But as it got closer to the time, it started to fill up, until people were having trouble finding somewhere to sit. Cos the thing with the GFT is, you don’t reserve a seat. And that caused some problems.

See that guy there? The seat to the right of him was empty, but almost every other seat was taken. Then this other guy came in, a guy in his 40s wearing an orange beanie hat, and made his way along to where that guy was sitting, and started chatting to him while standing up. It was only the trailers, he wasn’t disturbing the film or anything, but he was being quite loud. I assumed it was the guy’s mate, cos of how loud and chatty he was being, then I started hearing the beanie guy being pissed off. I realised they weren’t mates, but were actually arguing.

The beanie guy was pointing at the empty seat and saying stuff like “Aye, I was only asking, mate”, something like that, but more aggressive. Kind of snappy. Angry. It honestly felt like it was about to come to blows. Then he walked away. I’ve never seen behaviour like that in the pictures before, and I wouldn’t have expected it in the arty farty indie GFT. Especially from a guy wearing an orange beanie. But he didn’t have the whole Where’s Wally look. His face was like a pockmarked Peter Mullan.

And that wasn’t the end of it.

He then made his way along the row in front of me, to where this woman was sitting with a free seat at either side of her. He said a few words to her as he was standing, she said something back, and she started to move. Then he started a fucking argument with her as well. I couldn’t make out what was being said, but it had the same feeling of the first argument. She looked pissed off and said something back, and he said something back to her. People were looking at him. A total fucking hothead prick.

I started getting this feeling that I was about to have to step in, and maybe say “Mate, what’s wae the aggro?”, but that stuff makes me nervous. Cos if he was to say back to me “Fucking shut it”, there is no fucking way I could just leave it at that, it would escalate. Not to violence or anything, I’m not a hardman, but just… it would escalate. I’d probably embarrass myself by taking it too far.

Anyway, that calmed down, and eventually this other woman made her way along the row of seats to sit next to that guy, and they started chatting. She was his girlfriend or something. So he must have been trying to get a couple of seats together. That’s what he must have asked that first guy, to give up his seat so they could have two seats side by side. And the guy maybe just went “Naw”. Good.

Honestly, I had my eyes glued to the hothead cunt for the next few minutes, trying to work him out. I was looking at his girlfriend to see if I could tell what sort of guy he was just by looking at her manner, like if she looked depressed or stressed out. But she was relaxed and smiling. I looked at the other woman as well, to see if she was stressed, but no, she seemed fine. She was sitting next to the girlfriend, thank fuck. Imagine taking cheek from an arsehole like that, then having to rub shoulders with him for the next two hours.

Speaking of rubbing shoulders, that screen 3 in the GFT certainly has you doing that. It’s a bit cramped. Compared to other cinemas I usually go to, it’s like being on a minibus. Not just cos of how close people are to the side of you, but behind you as well. I could smell somebody’s breath every now and then, and I assumed it was coming from behind. This minging kind of sweet smelling breath, that would gust over to me every ten minutes, maybe coming from a yawn. I don’t think I’ll be back, not to that screen anyway.

And speaking of yawning, I was doing that quite a bit throughout Sentimental Value. I think I was maybe tired, cos I nearly did nod off. I thought the film was alright, 3/5, nothing wrong with it, a good film and everything. But it just didn’t hit me in the way that I wanted it to. Maybe it’d been built up too much with brilliant reviews. I think that a lot about certain films, that if it hadn’t been for everybody going on about it, I would have enjoyed it more.

After the film, I waited a bit during the credits and out in the foyer, to see if things would kick off with the hothead, like if that other guy would bump into him and say “You need to chill out”. But I didn’t see him. Shame.

The funny thing is, I didn’t go to see 28 Years Later, but that experience was like the Rage virus. First the shouting guy outside, patient zero, and then him in the GFT. I can imagine leaving the film after two hours, and Glasgow has descended into a chaotic mess, sprawling with violent, angry madmen. But… haha… what else is new? Haha! Ha ha ha.

I walked all the way home from there, about five miles. A nice, brisk walk, stopping briefly halfway for a cappuccino and a pish.