The Thermostat Has Been Touched

Dearest friends on the internet,

I will admit…we have turned the thermometer UP so that it’s nice and toasty back home. We did it because…that’s what we’re supposed to do in the summer. The woman has not stopped complaining.

She came home this afternoon and proclaimed, “THE THERMOSTAT HAS BEEN TOUCHED! WHO DID IT???”

Now, sadly, I do not yet know who is responsible.

The woman claims the house felt warm. Cooper is panting, but Cooper pants when he walks across a room, considers walking across a room, or remembers a sandwich. Daisy is beneath a blanket, which suggests nothing. Daisy would sit beneath a blanket during a volcanic eruption. Miss Frankie has stretched herself directly across an air vent and is now receiving climate-controlled fur service at the household’s expense.

I believe we now know who the culprit is.

To remedy the situation, the woman lowered the thermostat by two degrees.

Two!

Does she believe cool air simply appears?

I am here to tell you it does not! Each refreshing breeze must be individually approved by Heaven’s Department of Domestic Climate, where angels are already overworked due to women of a certain age declaring, “Is it just me, or is it hot in here?”

It is now 68 degrees in my house.

The vile beasts are comfortable. All is now right with the world.

Very truly yours,

Bob
Senior Thermostat Investigator
Unauthorized adjustments will receive a Stern Look