Dearest friends on the internet,
Several earthly residents have complained that stepping outside currently feels like being wrapped in a warm, damp washcloth.
This description is accurate.
Summer humidity occurs when Heaven accidentally leaves the atmospheric dishwasher open. Moisture escapes, settles over the neighborhood, and causes everyone’s hair to expand beyond its approved dimensions.
The woman walks outside looking presentable and returns seven minutes later resembling someone who has received difficult news in a wind tunnel.
Cooper does not notice because beagles consider every smell more informative when steamed. Daisy objects to the entire season. Miss Frankie remains indoors, stretched across the air vent and contributing nothing to the discussion.
Heaven’s Atmospheric Department is working to correct the problem. Unfortunately, it is staffed by angel cats…we will get to it when we get to it.
Very truly yours,
Bob
Senior Humidity Official
Heavenly Department of Unnecessary Moisture
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