Seven Sacred Truths of Progress

Each of these seven apparently inseparable truths will offend a different member of the progressive coalition.

1. A blue-collar urban woman may develop certain practical reservations about BLACK LIVES MATTER, particularly if her experience of crime, policing, and public disorder has been more immediate than the experience of the person who designed the sign.

2. A dedicated feminist may have questions about NO HUMAN IS ILLEGAL, especially when unlimited compassion begins importing unlimited quantities of patriarchy, religious conservatism, and men whose views on women have not yet been updated by the relevant university department.

3. An evangelical, prim-and-proper lady will object to LOVE IS LOVE, or at least request several pages of theological definitions, three scriptural citations, and a clearer explanation of what everyone intends to do after dinner.

4. A gender-radical activist may become suspicious of WOMEN’S RIGHTS ARE HUMAN RIGHTS, since this dangerously implies that “women” are an identifiable class of human beings rather than a temporary administrative category requiring continual revision.

5. An open-minded Wiccan-and-crystals beauty may object to SCIENCE IS REAL the moment science begins making hostile remarks about astrology, homeopathy, healing vibrations, detoxifying foot pads, or the unusually judgmental energy of her rose quartz.

6. A business-oriented daughter of the professional middle class will enthusiastically affirm that WATER IS LIFE, before bottling it, branding it, adding electrolytes, and offering life itself by subscription for $8.99 a month.

7. And the prosperous suburban liberal may agree that INJUSTICE ANYWHERE IS A THREAT TO JUSTICE EVERYWHERE, until “anywhere” turns out to include her school district, her property values, or the proposed apartment building at the end of her street.

Thus the sign works perfectly. It unites seven women around seven principles, each of which is principally intended to be enforced upon one of the other six.