30 things I learned by 30

I always say I try not to regret anything in life. That everything happens for a reason. That something better comes along.

But if I’m honest… I spent months regretting leaving the last man I ever loved in my twenties. Sometimes that feeling still creeps in, even now.

But I’ve learned enough about regret to know this: it never lasts.

Regret feels permanent when you’re in it. It isn’t. Perspective just hasn’t caught up yet. The lesson, the opportunity, the next person, the next big thing is waiting just around the corner. That thing would’ve ended eventually anyway. You seemingly fucking it up just sped up the process. Thank god.

So, with hindsight, I don’t regret a single thing I did in my twenties. At least I try not to. I believe the best parts of my life are in front of me. And I learned the most valuable lessons the only way you really can: by living through them.

That being said, my twenties were the pits. There’s this really stupid fucking notion that your twenties are the best years of your life. I sure fucking hope not.

Frontal lobe not developed. Anxiety. Stupidity. You name it.

Well… I’m thirty now. And although I try to live without regret, I do think my twenties might have been a little better if I’d known some of these things:

What I wish I’d known in my twenties

1. Lean into who you are. All the way in. Don’t look at them. Don’t try to be like them. Look at you. Be you. The parts you’re most afraid of are the parts that the world needs to see.

2. Get up, dress up, show up.

3. Do the thing that scares you. Move to the city, quit the job, leave the relationship. The scariest decision is usually the one you need to make.

4. Do things for your future self. Do the hard things now. Right now.

5. Think: When I’m on my deathbed, how do I want to look back at this moment?

6. Loving hard isn’t a weakness. It’s gorgeous. But don’t you dare waste it on people or things that don’t love you back.

7. Lead with kindness and compassion for others.

8. Your intuition is rarely wrong. That feeling in your gut KNOWS. It always, always knows. Trust it.

9. Know when to walk away.

10. You cannot heal in the same environment that hurt you.

11. Have the courage to be disliked. Being liked is not the same as being respected.

12. Greatness is on the other side of the things you don’t want to do.

13. No one is thinking about you as much as you think they are. Be free. Nobody gives a shit.

14. Rejection is redirection. It’s a blessing.

15. Romantic love will not fix you. It will not save you.

16. You will outgrow people who once felt like home. Let it happen.

17. You can be the whole package at the wrong address.

18. Comparison is the thief of joy.

19. You got this far because of you. It’s not luck or coincidence. Keep going.

20. The party is never good after 2am. Go home.

21. Some endings are blessings you don’t recognise yet.

22. If the choice is between yourself and a relationship, bitch you better choose yourself.

23. Work hard in silence. Let your achievements do the talking.

24. That isn’t love. It isn’t passion. It’s toxic. It’s abuse. Run.

25. Find good friends. Friends who treat you the way you treat others. They exist. If the people around you are trash, drop them. You’ll find more. Trust me.

26. Love is supposed to feel safe.

27. You don’t need to be chosen. You’re the one doing the choosing. Choose wisely.

28. Don’t wait for things to be perfect. Good is good enough. Do the thing.

29. It’s never too late to start over. Burn everything to the ground. Begin again.
    Do everything. Try everything. Be everything.

30. Love you first.

See you next time in the confessional,

Blithe x

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