Things People Say Only to Female Comedians: Bitches in Stitches Edition

There are certain things people only say to female comedians.
Not because they’re true.
Just because we’re women holding a microphone.

And they always say it with the confidence of someone who has never been funny.

So we asked our members across three countries to share some of the things that have been said to them — comments they’re fairly certain no one would say to a male comic.

“Ah yes. The two options.”

“Perfect. I was waiting for the panel to deliberate.”

“Thank you. I rehearsed having a personality.”

“You should try writing a joke.”

“You should stick to imagining that.”

“That’s interesting. No one said that about the twelve minutes on dick before me.”

“You sound uncomfortable.”

“We just did.”

“Amazing. When do they start?”

— seen later at the pub with other male comedians

“Of course. Time only exists when women are speaking.”

— from her male “friend,” after a sold-out show she invited him to

“I didn’t realise you were the kind of guy who buys tickets just to neg women.”

“Do you have thoughts that aren’t about women?”

“And yet here you are. Not funny. Still a man.”

And if you think this is just a few weird interactions…
don’t worry.

The internet has been documenting this phenomenon extensively.

We love how the loudest critics of women’s comedy
are men who openly admit they don’t listen to women.

Unless, of course, we’re talking about sex.
Then suddenly they’re scholars.

But to be fair, this isn’t new.

Men have been confidently misunderstanding women’s humour for…
checks notes
several centuries.

The issue isn’t that women talk about sex, relationships, or their bodies.

It’s that when women do it, it stops being seen as universal
and starts being seen as niche.

Same topic.
Different storyteller.
Suddenly, it’s “too much.”

And the longer you stay in comedy, the more you realise something else:

None of these comments are actually about the jokes.

They’re about discomfort.
About unfamiliarity.
About people hearing something they weren’t expecting —
or weren’t expecting to come from you.

It doesn’t mean you’re doing it wrong.
It means they want you to feel that way.

Maybe they disagree with you.
Maybe they feel threatened.
Or maybe they’re just cunts.

No further analysis required.

Either way — they’re not your people.

And you don’t need to twist yourself into something more “palatable”
just to earn approval from people who were never going to give it to you anyway.

The reality of performing is that there are haters everywhere.

Open mics. Lineups. Comment sections. Group chats.

You can’t avoid them.

But you can decide whose voice actually matters.

So don’t waste your energy on people who don’t respect what you’re doing.

Find the ones who do.
Build with them.
Get better with them.
Laugh with them.

And if you’re looking for rooms where people are actually listening —
where you’re allowed to try, bomb, and come back sharper — we’ve got you.

You’ll be in very good company here.