RING RING, IT'S THE BETHLINE...

Once upon a time I really wanted to be a therapist. Then I remembered that becoming a therapist famously requires a lot of school, and since I’m a 2x dropout (high school and college baby!), formal education isn't exactly my thing. Instead, I decided I’d just give people advice on the internet! Enter: Bethline. If there is anything you need life advice on, you can ask me here. I’ll try to do one of these a month, but setting expectations for myself is passé, so maybe I won’t! Jesus has taken the wheel.

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Let’s get into it.

I am doing a career change. But it’s weird as it’s within music - I am an engineer/producer by trade, but I've played in bands since I can remember and written music. It never really took off for a multitude of reasons, so I focused on my studio career for three years without playing. I am now investing in my solo project, and it feels stupid, as I am 33 and I should just get settled and get a job instead of writing punk music about lesbians and performing it in a field in england. But I really can’t help it! Shine some light on this dilemma xx

Dear 33 and going solo,

First things first - you say "writing punk music about lesbians and performing it in a field in England” as if that’s a bad thing! Second, 33 isn’t some definitive age that means you should be settling down and finalizing all of your life choices. In fact, 33 is often referred to as the “Jesus year.” I’m not exactly a scholar of the gospel, but the general vibe is basically this: Jesus was 33 when he was crucified, and then, you know, the whole rebirth situation happened. Whether you believe in the actual miracle or just see it as a metaphor, the point is that 33 is often seen as a year of cosmic graduation to a whole new version of you.

In my opinion, the only “settling down” you should be worried about is actually settling in to the fact that you are allowed to be exactly who you want to be right now. It sounds like you’ve spent the last three years helping other people achieve their creative dreams, and now it’s your turn. The world is overflowing with people who didn’t do the thing they really wished they’d done, and a lot of those people are now navigating some level of regret. You don’t have to be one of them!

I won’t lie. Being a musician is a really hard job to have, especially in the current state of the music industry, but one thing I will say is that no matter how hard it is, it is always rewarding, especially in a “spiritual” sense. Nothing feels better than creating and sharing myself with an audience in the way I get to as an artist. It is the thing that makes me feel the most alive in the world. And even when I feel disconnected and uninspired, I know the things I’ve made in the past are still resonating with people today. So who cares that it’s hard, or unstable, or “feels stupid” - if it makes you feel alive, do it.

Your intuition is guiding you somewhere, and it’s worth following the pull. And look! It might not work out! That is always a possibility, but you literally never know what is going to happen until you try. I often find that when something doesn’t work out how I anticipated it would, a new unexpected, even cooler thing blossoms. In my case, my solo album did not pan out the way I expected it would. I spent a year feeling sorry for myself. Then, I got pregnant, something I never would have allowed myself to do if I had been deep in an album cycle. Stop worrying about the “shoulds.” If I had allowed the “shoulds” to win, I wouldn’t be a mom to the most amazing and precious person in the whole entire universe. I wouldn’t have dropped out of college and started Best Coast, which also means I wouldn’t be here answering your question!

Trust that nothing you’re doing is “weird” or “wrong” if it’s what you really want to be doing, and to me, it sounds like pursuing your solo project is what you really want to be doing right now. You have one precious life here on this insane planet, so get into that field and sing about those lesbians, babe!

xo, Bethany

If you’d like to ask me a question for a future Bethline, you may do so here.