The Hannah Montana Crisis

Hello and happy Friday.

Today I referenced Hannah Montana in therapy, and I have no regrets. If you are wondering about the context, we were talking about the identity juggling act of being a musician whose body and style have shifted in motherhood and how the "best of both worlds" (absolute 10/10 banger of a song) idea is feeling less like a theme song and more like a way to survive. Maybe the "musician me" and the "mom me" don't need to be the same person right now. Maybe they just need separate closets? TBD, one day at a time, etc. In the spirit of trying to find a new rhythm, here is my little list of things keeping me sane.

• LISTENING: Bethany’s Version: As you already know, because I love to tell you, I am famously slow at connecting with ‘new’ music, but this week, I had my finger on the pulse!! I can NOT stop listening to the new Snail Mail song “Tractor Beam.” Snail Mail, aka Lindsey Jordan, is 26 years old and writing songs as good as any musician who’s been at it for decades. She opened for Best Coast in Baltimore when she was 17, and I remember being blown away by how effortlessly profound her songwriting was for a teenager. At 17, I wrote really bad songs, some of which are on the internet for you to hear, but I will not be sharing them with you here. Google is free, as is your will to choose what you do with it. The music video for “Tractor Beam” was also directed by my niece, Elsie Richter, who is so cool, she doesn’t even have social media.

Luna’s Version: Unlike a bunch of dorks in this country who hated on the Super Bowl Halftime Show, my daughter knows what the fuck is up. Her current favorite jam is Bad Bunny’s “NUEVAYoL.” The joy on this child’s face the moment she hears the intro could thaw even the coldest and blackest of hearts. She also has shockingly good rhythm, and her little bops to this one are often on beat. This song is so fucking good, and I hope she’s obsessed with it forever, because if I have to hear a song 400 times a day, I’d rather it be this over a song about a bus wheel.

• WATCHING: If you’re searching for wholesome content that will remind you that life is fragile and hard and also beautiful and touching, you should be watching Shrinking on Apple TV. It’s about a therapist, played by Jason Segel, who is grieving the loss of his wife and basically snaps, deciding to tell his patients exactly what he thinks, with no professional boundaries at all. The show also stars Harrison Ford and Jessica Williams, also as therapists, and in my opinion, Jessica carries the entire show. Jessica is a friend of mine but also someone I’ve been a massive fan of since the 2 Dope Queens days. She’s so fucking funny, tall and gorgeous, and a joy to watch. At its center, Shrinking is about the messy parts of being alive, but it’s not a total downer. It serves as a good reminder that while being human is indeed a disaster, at least it’s a shared experience! Plus, it’s set in Pasadena, so if you are an LA local, you will find yourself screaming, "THAT'S IN EAGLE ROCK!”

  

• DOING: This actually is something I’ve been feeling shameful about doing, but then I realized, who fucking cares? I’ve been eating A LOT of ice cream. Like, multiple nights in a row. And maybe you’re reading this like, yeah? Who cares? But if you are someone who’s ever lived with an eating disorder brain, you probably know ice cream is like a big boss of the foods you “shouldn’t” allow yourself. Given how exhausted I am from parenting a toddler, existing on planet earth, and working on numerous projects I’m not allowed to talk about yet (see, I am Hannah Montana); I really just need something at the end of the day to help me decompress. It used to be white wine spritzers or an edible or two or three or four—but now, it’s ice cream. My favorite at the moment is Baskin-Robbins Peanut Butter ‘n Chocolate. It’s definitely not the organic, artisanal, sweetened with honey choice that fits a specific Goop-y aesthetic, but that’s exactly why I love it. Eating a massive scoop of something that came from a strip mall is my way of telling the ED part of my brain to fuck off. For someone who has spent years negotiating with food like it’s a hostage situation, choosing the “unhealthy” option is actually maybe the healthiest thing I can do for myself.

  

• Using: I’ve been a working woman lately, so that also means I’ve been schlepping a laptop, a giant water bottle, snacks, laptop and phone chargers, and many other things around with me. I used to be a throw-it-in-a-random-tote-bag girlie, but then someone gifted me a Baggu bag, and I never looked back. I’ll admit that sometimes using a Baggu bag makes me feel a little like an old lady trying to be hip and with it, but I can’t help it—when a bag is good and sturdy and can carry everything you need, sometimes you must risk looking like “I’m not a normal mom; I’m a cool mom.” It’s a sturdy, ripstop nylon security blanket for the modern woman who is tired of carrying her needs and wants in her hands. Eco-friendly, recycled material, and can safely carry up to 50 pounds. What’s not to love!? My newest one that I got on a trip to the bookstore last weekend with Luna is covered in horses, and fits my Medium Nylon Crescent Bag perfectly. There’s something deeply satisfying about pulling a smaller bag out of my main bag like a magician. It's the perfect gear-hauler for a girl who is living two lives at once and needs a bag that can handle the transition without falling apart (me, and also the bag).

  

  What are you currently listening to/watching/doing/using to help you stay sane?

Until next time, xoxo.