More than a belly

We can only be that which exists in language, so, for a very long time I have been a woman with a belly, with a big stomach, apple shaped.

As someone with a body like that I was very unhappy, because I thought my body was wrong and it was my job to fix it and my failure if I don’t. And so I tried. For a very long time I dieted, lost and gained weight, exercised, wore shapewear and clothing that would hide the belly. But I didn’t give up.

Once I succeeded and lost the weight and shrunk my belly, I realized that it was never about the body or the belly. It was my mind that needed changing, because I have, as many others, learned to dislike my body unintentionally - I just drank the coolaid too, like everyone else.

Once again, I started fixing myself, but this time, I was intentionally changing my thinking about my belly and going from body dissatisfaction to body neutrality. It worked, and it was good - my body was finally mine and the obsession with food and weight and belly had stopped. It was more than good, so much more that I decided I wanted to share this with other women and so I became a life coach and started talking about this and teaching how to change your mind about your body.

But something never fully worked. I never got the traction, and I know it was not because of the tools I was teaching, or because l was clumsy in sales. And, just as I was about to give up and walk away, it came to me, as all the things always come when we stop chasing them - I was missing feeling gorgeous!

Neutrality was nice and peaceful and calm, but there was no beauty in neutrality and the language I used was still the same language > apple shaped, big stomach, bellylines. I thought I was reclaiming and redefining, and while I was, I was also still keeping the focus on our weak point, the one world had deemed unhealthy and unattractive - the stomach, the belly, the apple shape of our body.

I, with the intention to inspire empowerment and acceptance, was holding a brush and standing on my soap box, very much focused on and highlighting the part of us that the world had already painted dark, trying to reclaim it with the same language they used to make it bad.

My new plan is to stop fixing what is broken and to zoom way out.

Let’s focus on seeing the beauty we already have. Let’s paint that!

When you look at yourself, what are your favorite parts? When do you see yourself as gorgeous? What is beautiful? What do you just love because it was a gift passed down through your family? If you look through an artist’s eye, can you find more beauty in yourself? How about through your parent’s, your child’s, your partner’s eye? What beauty do they speak of? Maybe you can see that too.

Let’s do that - let’s focus on remembering and noticing and seeing the beauty we already have. We will feel better that way, and we will also change things in our brain - crate a new habit of seeing beauty all around.

Yes, I realise I might sound a bit crazy - and you can see just how crazy I do sound if you go to my TikTok account (more.than.a.belly).

So, I am inviting you to grab a note book, or open your notes app, or my always favorite spreadsheet, and start - join the challenge - write down 100 beautiful things about your body in 30 days and go as wild, as cheesy, as crazy as you want. Nobody needs to know - this one is for you!