Reading · Emotion in Context

In this short role-play, I initially notice what could easily be understood as emotional avoidance.

But Crystal, playing a client with a Mistrust/Abuse schema, experiences something quite different:

She thinks I am the one avoiding her question.
Same interaction.
Two very different experiences of what is happening.
This is where formulation becomes interesting.

When we identify a client as avoiding, detached, resistant, or not engaging, how often do we stop to consider how they are experiencing us at that very moment?

This is one of the reasons I find ‘process’ and ‘relationship’ so important clinically. Sometimes the difficulty is not in the question we asked, but in the meaning that question acquired between two people. In this situation, I find it particularly important for the therapist to be able to land on the ‘process’ level with the client, without going too quickly into the ‘content’. Because ‘relational safety’ should come first.

The video below is a clinical demonstration for learning purposes. Crystal is role-playing the client; it does not depict an actual client or therapy session.

Acknowledgment: Crystal Lee, Accredited Advanced Schema Therapist.

🔒 Full clinical demonstration for paid subscribers below.

Who is avoiding whom?

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