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Bad Bunny at Super Bowl 2026 (screengrab via YouTube)

I am scatter-brained today, but here we go! Back at it with some new questions and answers. Also, I really like this format of limiting myself to three (very long sentences). Also, Bad Bunny was phenomenal at the Super Bowl yesterday. I have rewatched the performance several times. 👩🏻‍🍳😘 Also, Fuck 🧊.

Also, this song has been in my head for days….

I first saw The Pixies on this very tour, (when I was 14) at The Roxy on the Sunset Strip. It was a life-changing show. So damn grateful that I got to see them before they blew up (and shout out to my mother for driving me and my friend Leslie, dropping us off, and picking us up a few hours later).

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I need help navigating a terrible situation with tact and diplomacy. How can I approach my beloved aunt and tell her I don’t want her to watch my children anymore? Also, I would like the $1,000 I gave her in advance back.

CPS has decided her sister—my estranged, abusive mother—is a risk to my children, and they are not allowed around her.

Despite telling my aunt and the rest of my family about CPS, they continue to pressure me to “make up” and reconcile so that she can have a relationship with my kids.

I will never do this. It is not in my kids’ best interest. I told my aunt, three weeks prior and very clearly, that while watching my children, she CANNOT facilitate a meeting between my estranged parent and the children. I told her that if she did, she would lose my trust and I would be furious.

Well, despite this, my estranged parent showed up unannounced at my aunt’s home while the kids were there. Instead of saying, “you can’t come in because the children are here and you know you are not allowed around them,” she let her in for a 15-minute visit.

Now, my aunt is treating me like I am unreasonable for being upset and will not communicate about this on a deep level. I am sad and hurt that I now have to make other child care arrangements because I was hoping to have at least one family member be supportive for the children and make them feel special and loved. How can I do this correctly without allowing my feelings to get the best of me?

She says it was “an accident,” but it is her choice who she lets into her apartment. She is fully aware that contact with this person poses a risk to my children, as decided by Child Protective Services.

Please pick my letter to advise, as I am a single parent and have no one to turn to.

I will never understand the familiar dynamic in families where everyone bends to accommodate someone problematic, maybe dangerous, for the sake of everyone “getting along” (I have never believed in maintaining toxic relationships with people just because you’re related to them).

You have every right to be angry; you set a boundary, and it was not respected.

Trust your instincts and protect those kids (the only people you owe ANYTHING to in this situation are your children and yourself); CPS would not get involved regarding a grandparent unless there was something very wrong, so for your aunt or anyone else in the family to try to brush that under the rug is harmful, willful ignorance.

I was involved with my neighbor, who was married. I was married myself. He left his wife right when I left my husband. (I went through with my divorce; he did not.) We moved in together. Then, after living with me for five days, he left me to go back to her.

WTF.

Look, I am never judgmental about affairs, but the inherent risk is that, in my experience, they almost always end badly, for everyone, and I have been there: At 22, I had an affair with someone who left his girlfriend for me, then began to doubt his decision and that doubt was poisonous; I found it was more painful to have only part of him than none of him (and then things got even messier because we got back together, and engaged, but, oops, I forgot to tell him I was cheating on him with heroin).

Your neighbor did you a favor by leaving quickly, and allowing you the time and space to heal and find someone who is available and better suited for you than either of these men (because clearly there were some issues in your marriage, or this would not have happened/ you have likely learned some valuable lessons about life and love and yourself).

You didn’t really ask me a question, so I will end with this—you have the opportunity now to decide what you want in a partner and out of life; embrace that and take these lessons to heart as you move forward (and, as always, therapy is a great idea).

Hi Erin,

I live in a small city adjacent to Los Angeles. A year ago, a former council member campaigned for a male resident—who had lived here for only a few years—to win a seat on our five-member council.

Now, a year later, this new council person has proven themselves to be inept, and they do not even have the basic skill set to do the job at council meetings. Basically, it’s become embarrassing, even at the last council meeting….. As he started to speak on an agenda item, he was not even addressing the right one. Two other council members had to jump in and try to get him back on track verbally.

At another council meeting, he did not even know how appeals work and kept asking really dumb questions, which revealed that he was not prepared and well-read on this issue.

I called the former council member who pushed for this guy to win a seat. The former council member had a meltdown at me, was really angry, and told me the new council member was doing an excellent job.

Other residents and I are concerned about what we are stuck with.

How can we get this resolved as soon as possible?

Sincerely,

Stuck with a Dummy

Dear Stuck with a Dummy,

As you may or may not know, I was elected to a specific council last year in New York City, one that was coming out of two years of remarkable contentiousness between council members (some of whom remain on the council), and so I know a thing or two about having to work with a variety of personalities, egos, skills, etc. (also, this is not my first rodeo).

I don’t know what your bylaws are—some bylaws allow for the removal of a council member if the majority of the council finds them unfuit to serve, so a close read of your bylaws is where I would start—but you may well be stuck with them through the end of their term, and if that is the case, you don’t want to allow someone else’s shortcomings to make you miserable or unable to accomplish anything.

Focus on what you can do to educate them, steer them toward initiatives, resolutions, etc., that they will understand and be engaged with, and accept who they are and where they are, because the key (IMO) to successful civil service is learning how to work around obstacles like an ill-equipped fellow council member.

Bad Grandma, Aftermath of an Affair, & City Council Blues

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