A New Gordon Downybottom Christmas Letter

Apologies for the delay in new stories. Thankfully, our old friend Gordon Downybottom sent a Christmas letter to my kids again! You can read the other letters from Gordon that I’ve transcribed, as well.

Happy New Year!

JIM

Happy Christmas, M_____ and O_____!

I hope you’re having a good December so far. Are you looking forward to some celebratory time with friends and family? I know I am. You’ve no doubt heard of a silly goose, but have you heard of a tired goose? You have now! It’s been a very busy year for your old friend Gordon Downybottom.

Though I doubt you’d find the goose equivalent of hot cocoa and cookies appetizing, I think we can all agree that hunkering down for wintertime treats by a twinkling Christmas tree and a cozy fire is one of Yuletide’s highlights. (Yuletide is another name for the festivities around the winter holidays, but an older term, so no need to fret if you haven’t heard it before.)

Which is all to say, while it’s been a very interesting year, I am ready for the holiday break.

Once again, I’ve fallen into a feather-brained reverie (which is kind of like a daydream) about what I’ll do after all of us at the North Pole Mail Corps knock off for the holidays. And we’ll be there soon enough! But not a single silly or tired goose up at the North Pole, nor the elves, reindeer, or that jolly old Saint Nick and Mrs. Claus will rest till every boy and girl has a very Merry Christmas! Don’t you worry!

“Why are you especially tired this year?” I can almost hear you wondering. Well, ironically enough, it all started last year after I dropped off your Christmas treats. As I lifted into the air, I got a good look at Portland and saw a few wide-open green spaces, each of them covered with flocks of geese! Feeling imbued with the holiday spirit after all my deliveries, I dropped down to offer my season’s greetings to my fellow feathered friends. I met some Canada and Cackling Geese taking a break on their migration. While socializing, I spied many other birds and introduced myself. I chatted with some Wood Ducks, spent time with some Great Blue Herons, and gabbed with some striking Northern Flickers. If you didn’t know, your neck of the woods is populated by quite a lovely bunch of birds.

When I got back to the North Pole, I told Santa the whole story and, you’ll never guess what I learned. Apparently, these green spaces full of geese are golf courses! Santa, who knows quite a lot about the world from his many years of traveling, explained that golf is a game played all over the world, from Australia to Ireland and Japan to places you’re very familiar with. “You know how O_____ and M_____ sometimes spend Christmas in North Carolina?” Santa asked. I didn’t, but of course Santa knew. He has an excellent memory for where boys’ and girls’ grandparents live, as many kids celebrate the holidays with them. Well, he explained to me that North Carolina is home to some well-known golf courses. Who knew!

At this point, you know that I, Gordon Downybottom, must be one of the most curious geese on the planet. And after learning to speak and read, and then learning so much from traveling for the North Pole Mail Corps, my curiosity was piqued. Not on golf, of course. Feathery wings, as you might guess, are not well-suited to holding a golf club. No, I was interested in golf courses… were they all home to so many birds? I had to know! Sure, I’d given a nod to cranes, cormorants, and chickadees in passing. I’d honked a quick hello to sparrows, swans, and swallows at various watering holes, but there were so many different birds in the world that I’d never met.

Well, standing nearby was Rupert Parcel, who you may recall is the Chief Postmaster Elf, and he overheard Santa and me talking. “Whaddaya say, Nicky? It’s been a while since we’ve hit the links. After the Christmas rush, what say we go on a wee golfing trip and take Gordon along with us as our envoy to the local birds?” My beak about hit the floor when Santa said it sounded like a great idea. And once all the gifts were delivered, we packed up the sleigh and flew off for a little vacation.

I could probably fill a book with all the amazing places we saw and birds I met, but Christmas is coming soon, so I doubt you have time to hear about all of them — I know I don’t have time to write them all down now, even though my letters always get a little long in the wing. Needless to say, though I’ll say it, it was a great trip. I walked with kiwis in New Zealand, glided with Magnificent Frigatebirds in Mexico (and tried to keep up with some roadrunners too!), and watched Santa sink some good putts with puffins in Iceland. Even with all the migrating I’ve done, and all my North Pole travels too, I had no idea how big and unique a world full of birds was out there!

The trip was a success, and with my enthusiasm for exploration enhanced, and Santa’s golf habit rekindled, we ended up traveling a lot this past year. Sometimes it was Santa, Rupert Parcel, and me. Sometimes Turkle joined the golfers while my friend Dervis Grasseater joined me. Sometimes Santa and Mrs. Claus swung their clubs while my sister Wendy Longneck and her son (my nephew) Rootbeak took in the traditions of the golf course’s local birds.

And you know what amazed me in all our travels? No matter if the birds we met preferred a cold climate or liked a warm area, if they nested on the ground or in trees, or if they migrated or stayed in one place year-round, we all had a lot in common. From birds with the most brightly colored plumage to those with more subtly colored feathers, though we might look different, we all wanted full bellies, healthy families, and comfy nests. Whether our wingspans were long or short, whether we ate bugs or plants or rodents, we all loved the freedom to fly (or swim or walk) and hoped our flocks were forever well-fed, safe, and happy.

I shared this revelation with Santa, and he smiled. “That’s what the Christmas spirit is all about, Gordon,” he said. “You’re a pretty smart goose!” So add that to my epithet! Gordon Downybottom: silly goose, tired goose, and (according to Santa) a pretty smart goose too.

But before I rest my wings for a while, I wanted to relay this little adventure to you both and wish you a very merry Christmas! Birds of a feather may flock together, but ya know, birds of any feather are better when they realize we’re all part of the same big flock. It may sound a little bird-brained, but sometimes the simplest truths are can be found in a silly goose’s flights of fancy.

Happy holidays, O_____ and M_____!

Your feathered friend,

Gordon Downybottom