Note: I made this zine right before Halloween to hand out to trick-or-treaters. My kiddos said my indulgent gothic intro was too slow, but the story got good at the end — where the jokes are. If your kiddos have feedback, I’d be curious for it! It was an interesting note, and a logical one. Middle grade readers probably aren’t as interested in an eerie atmospheric build-up… at least not as much as I enjoyed writing it. Maybe better for tweens? Time will tell!

To prevent your teeth from chattering while you read this creepy rhyme, wrap up in a blanket!

The sun sunk beneath the hills on All Hallow’s Eve.

Darkness covered the forest like an ebony shroud.

On this night that most folk call Halloween

the possibility of ghouls leaves most people cowed.

But not this fierce and fair maiden, wrapped in a cloak.

Hiking with determined steps, at her belt was a blade.

If any evil spirits in the woods — conniving — awoke

she’d make them wish, in their graves they had stayed.

She also carried a basket with books and some treats

full of pies and sweet things to share with her friends.

Reading haunted tales while they enjoyed festive eats

was the best way to celebrate the harvest time’s end.

As the crescent moon shone through wisps of cloud

a chill wind whipped the remaining leaves from the trees.

A howl ripped through the night. It was close, it was loud.

A returning howl signaled a pack — she must flee.

She hurtled through the wood, branches scratched at her cheeks.

The ravenous pack was hot on her heels.

She stopped and drew her sword. What havoc she’d wreak!

She warned the wolves to beware of her steel.

The pack circled the girl, but then lightning cracked.

And the beasts all whimpered at the sight it revealed.

The leader howled, calling off their attack.

So the girl turned to see just why they had heeled.

Against the purple of night, a dark facade stood.

Candles flickered forlornly in portals of warped glass.

A dark stone mansion, overgrown with gnarled wood

surrounded by a prairie of swirling witch grass.

The lightning was prelude to a heavy downpour,

and though the manor was crumbling and looked quite forlorn,

she ran to the house to escape the storm’s roar

and saw large doors adorned with old husks of corn.

Jack-o-lanterns on the step, with wide eerie grins,

looked ready to wail and scream and moan.

Their mouths flickering from candles within,

and that’s when the front doors opened on their own.

With lit candles in the windows and pumpkins out front,

the girl thought someone must have been home.

But the hall was deserted, and to be blunt,

the house felt as welcoming as an old catacomb.

“Is anyone there?” she called, checking her snacks.

Her parcel of goodies had survived the chase.

“Is anyone there?” she heard her voice echo back—

a hair-raising reply in the shadowy place.

Across the inky entryway, warm light suddenly appeared.

An enticing, fiery glow that the cold maiden couldn’t ignore.

And while many people in this instance would be affeared,

she bravely crossed the hall toward the fire’s roar.

A surprising discovery in this decrepit estate,

she entered a library, cozy-warm from the fire.

Next to a plush armchair, cocoa and cookies on a plate,

surrounded by more books than she could ever acquire.

She hung her wet cloak on a peg by the hearth

and saw the chair move toward her like a kindly old granny.

The side table waddled over and filled her with mirth.

Whatever enchantment might be was uncanny.

Though the manor was spooky, this room was inviting.

And the storm was still raging, rain pounding on the panes.

She’d relax here, protected, and wait out the lightning.

The furniture was friendly, even if that was strange.

She sat and selected a book and a biscuit.

Such a dismal old place hiding such a pleasant room.

What a delightful surprise on the way to her visit,

then the calm was broken by a deafening boom.

From deep in the manor, heavy footfalls she heard,

quickly coming toward her from the slammed-open door.

The reverberations sounded like a stampeding herd.

Then in the doorway, she saw a monstrous wild boar.

Or was it a tiger? Or a gigantic bear?

It was massive, steam pouring from its mouth with each breath.

It had tusks, and claws, and was covered in hair.

The maiden feared that the beast’s arrival meant death.

As the beast surveyed the scene, she saw it wore clothes.

Though ripped and torn, the vestments were of a fine make

But the beast roared again, and she didn’t move slow

She grabbed her cloak and basket and ran for her life’s sake.

She flew the great hall and rooms full of beds.

She sped through a kitchen, the scullery, a larder.

The beast was on her tail no matter where she fled.

So the maiden kept running, she ran even harder.

She dodged and she dove, running fast, ducking low,

as the beast, in pursuit, tried to grab at her cloak.

Like a crafty jackrabbit fleeing to its borough,

she evaded her foe until the beast spoke.

She stopped in her tracks when she heard the beast keen,

A sorrowful request…

“PRAY, DOTH THOU HAVE ANY BEANS?!”

She turned and saw that the beast looked sad.

Its eyes seemed manic, but due to its fear.

Not a mindless devourer, slavering and mad.

She decided to lend the beast a kind ear.

“Beans?” she questioned. “What do you mean?”

“I say what I mean: do you have any beans?

In the basket you carry I thought I’d seen a canteen

filled to the brim with pristine beans?”

She pulled back the gingham and revealed a tin

nestled among the cookies, jams, and bonbons

“I’m be happy to share all that lies within

If you can tell me just what heck’s going on.”

The beast told a tale from when times were lean

about an enchantress that visited the estate.

Disguised as a beggar, she requested some beans,

but the beast, then human, just laughed at her fate.

To teach a lesson, the enchantress decided

a curse was what the selfish beast deserved.

To live as a beast, until someone provided

a can of beans like the one the beast reserved.

“It’s a shame,” said the girl, “you didn’t learn from the enchanter.

“A simple way to put this dire curse at ease.

“All you need to do is show some good manners

“Don’t chase me and scare me, you just need to say ‘please.’”

So the beast apologized and beans were shared.

The curse melted away and all was repaired.

Where once there’d been tusks and wild beastly hair,

now stood a young princess who was very fair.

The rain was gone. The sky was now clear.

It was time to get going since all was set right.

So the maiden invited the princess, her peer,

to come meet her friends on this Halloween night.

The pale moon still hung high above the bare, knotty oaks

but the scene wasn’t as scary as it once seemed.

The new friends walked along singing songs, telling jokes,

and learned Halloween is more fun as a team.