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Tuesday, August 25, 2026

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Politics

Politics

Trump Makes Repeated Verbal Flubs While Performing ‘Wild Wild West’ Theme Song

Politics

White House Doctor Claims President Has Always Been Face Drawn Onto Cantaloupe
Politics

Democratic Socialism: Myth Vs. Fact
Politics

White House Confirms It Customary For President To Start Press Conference With ‘Moo’
Politics

Trump Unveils New 250-Foot Gilded Catering Container For Presidential Travel

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Politics

Pete Hegseth Orders Military Blockade Of Woman Attempting To Walk Away From Him

WASHINGTON—Saying he would not hesitate to use force if she continued to disobey his orders, Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth reportedly ordered a military blockade Monday…
Politics

Todd Blanche Vows To Remain Fully Independent Of The Law

WASHINGTON—Assuring the American people he would not let the legal system sway his judgment in any decision he makes, recently sworn-in Attorney General Todd Blanche…
Politics

White House Taps Mean Teen In Zara Fitting Room As New Press Secretary

WASHINGTON—Touting her overall cruelty and particular delight at making others feel miserably self-conscious, the White House on Monday tapped a mean teenager from a Zara…
Politics

Trump Downplays Significance Of Trump Tower Found On Epstein Island

WASHINGTON—Dismissing news of the 70-story skyscraper as a “hit job” manufactured by the mainstream media, President Donald Trump downplayed Thursday the significance of a Trump…
Politics

Cheryl Hines Walks In On RFK Jr. Vivisecting Self Again

WASHINGTON—Coming to an abrupt halt in the bedroom doorway and staring in surprise at her husband’s exposed entrails, actress Cheryl Hines reportedly walked in Tuesday…
Politics

Trump Tears Up White House In Search Of More Munitions

WASHINGTON—Surrounded on all sides by overturned furniture, ripped-out desk drawers, and dozens of loose items flung wildly from their shelves, President Donald Trump reportedly tore…

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Politics

Melania Trump Discovered To Be Russian Listening Device

WASHINGTON—In what is being described as a major breach of White House security protocol, the National Security Agency reportedly uncovered evidence Friday that first lady…
Politics

Spiteful AIPAC Spends $30 Million On Loud Bird Perched Outside Abdul El-Sayed’s Window

ANN ARBOR, MI—In an effort to irritate the recent winner of Michigan’s Democratic Senate primary at all hours of the night, a spiteful American Israel Public Affairs Committee (AIPAC) reportedly spent…
Politics

Dept. Of Interior Grills Up Nation’s Remaining Endangered Species

WASHINGTON—With fragrant smoke wafting down Pennsylvania Avenue as a line of administration officials and VIPs stretched around the block, sources reported Saturday that leadership at…
Politics

New DNC Fundraising Email Urges Voters To Find Something Better To Do With Their Money

WASHINGTON—Pleading with recipients to use their hard-earned cash more productively, a Democratic National Committee fundraising email sent out Thursday urged voters to find something better to…
Politics

Pentagon Declassifies Files On Blimps

ARLINGTON, VA—In what may be the largest-ever disclosure of government data concerning the mysterious aerial phenomena, Pentagon officials announced Wednesday they had begun releasing a…
Politics

Trump Baselessly Claims He Is Viral 40-Pound Tabby Cat Named Daddy Cinnamon

WASHINGTON—Promoting the unfounded assertion in an effort to improve his polling, President Donald Trump baselessly claimed during a White House press conference Monday that he…

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Amazon Destroying Rare Books To Train AI
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Former Rep. Eric Swalwell Admits To ‘Physical Relations’ With Chinese Spy
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DOJ Develops Pathway To Restore Gun Rights To Felons

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