I work at a real estate office. The street-side windows of our office show off a lot of the housing deals in the area, including the listing price. Some older guy has been standing outside for a while. At first, he was glaring at the listings, but then he started glaring inside at us.

We try to ignore it at first, but when he starts making actual clients uncomfortable as they walk in, we send out the boss to talk to him. The boss stands by the doorway so we can overhear the conversation.

Boss: “Can I help you, sir?”

Guy: “Yeah! You can tell me why all these homes are half a million f****** dollars!”

Boss: “They reflect current market rates, sir, but we do have some homes that are cheaper. Were you interested in—”

Guy: “—F*** no! My son kept telling me he couldn’t afford a house like I did at his age, and he told me the prices! I didn’t believe him, so he told me to walk past here and take a look! I can’t believe you people! How can you sleep at night charging so much?!”

Boss: “As I said, sir, these prices reflect the current housing market. They’re influenced by a lot of factors, such as inflation, supply—”

Guy: “—It’s because you’re f****** selling to all the immigrants! [Non-current president] let millions of illegals in here and let them take up all the houses! Houses that should have gone to my American son!”

Boss: “Sir, if a buyer is approved for a mortgage, then it’s not for us to discriminate based on where they came from, but I can tell you right now that if they’re not an American citizen but have been approved for a mortgage from an American bank, then they are definitely here legally.”

Guy: “You people and illegals are the reason why the country is so f***ed! My son can barely afford groceries because the government is giving all the money to these illegal freeloaders to feed their f****** birthright citizen babies!”

Boss: “Sir, if the government has to step in to support these people, how are they also able to buy up all the half-a-million-dollar houses?”

Guy: “Because you won’t sell to real Americans! F*** all of you!”

Boss: “Sir, engaging as this conversation has been, I need to ask you to move along now.”

Guy: “I ain’t going nowhere until you sell my son a house!”

Boss: “Sir, please leave now, or I will be calling the police.”

Guy: “Do that and I’ll call ICE and have them come down here and deport your a**!”

Boss: “You call your people, I’ll call mine. I’ll be going inside to dial 911 now.”

By the time my boss has made it to his desk, the guy has stormed away. Thankfully, he hasn’t come back, but my boss called the police anyway, who came by to look at the camera footage and make a note of the incident.

I really feel sorry for that son and hope he can move out soon!

We’re discussing a family gathering happening next week.

Mom: “Oh, you’ll need to go pick up your aunt and Grandma.”

Me: “Huh? Why? They can drive.”

Mom: “Yeah, but with gas prices being what they are, we’ve decided to just use the one car.”

Me: “So, my car? I don’t see why I should be driving them when they’re the ones who voted for the guy who did this to the gas prices.”

Mom: “You should be happy! They’re both so angry about the gas prices, they said they wouldn’t vote the same way next time.”

Me: “Oh, yay. Bombing children, starting wars, attacking human rights of the marginalized, and being best friends with THAT guy weren’t an issue, but gas prices is where they draw the line? Yeah, I wasn’t going to pick them up before, but I’m definitely not now.”

Caller: “I want to speak to an American.”

Me: “The call center is based in the US, sir.”

Caller: “And you’re an American citizen?”

Me: “I am, sir, not that it impacts my ability to—”

Caller: “—And you were born in the US?”

Me: “Sir, that is not relevant to any service I can provide on this call—”

Caller: “—A ha! If you were born here, you’d have said so! You’re evading me, so that means you’re not an American! You lied to me! I said I wanted to speak to an American!”

When a caller requests this, we have a scripted line to say as policy:

Me: “Sir, I’m happy to connect you to another associate who will be able to assist you, but no, I will not help you discriminate.”

Caller: “No, you will put me through to a supervisor so I can tell them how you’ve spoken to me.”

Magic words! I put him at the back of the line, but a dedicated line for our most special callers, who only get to speak to our supervisor, so the wait time is long, and whose first language is Spanish (and you can tell). The buck stops with him, so if the caller doesn’t want his help, then they get hung up on.

Also, a new scripted policy that’s come down the wire is if the caller threatens to call Immigration and Customs Enforcement, then we hang up on them immediately. Such fun!

Some friends and I are watching the Artemis 2 footage on YouTube while hanging out.

Friend: “If they’re on the dark side of the Moon, how come it’s all lit up?”

Me: “Far side, not dark side. The far side is facing away from Earth, but it still gets some sun, and it still reflects a lot of that sun so it can look really bright.”

Friend: “It reflects a lot of sun, so kinda like [Bald Friend]?”

Bald Friend: “Hey! But also, fair. My head does reflect a lot of sun.”

Friend: “So, the moon is bald?”

Me: “Well…”

Friend: “The moon doesn’t have any hair, so the moon is bald!”

Me: “I mean, I guess?”

I’m in an ice cream shop, and another customer is there with a teenager, I assume is her daughter.

Customer: *Places order.*

Employee: “Okay, ma’am, your order number is six… seven.”

Customer: “Oh no!”

Customer’s Daughter: “Oh yes!”