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Action Figures Or Action Committees?

, , | Right | July 1, 2026

I’m browsing comics in a geeky/nerdy store. A woman walks in and asks one of the guys at the counter:

Customer: “I need to get one of those weird-headed figures for my nephew.”

She points at the walls of Funko Pops.

Cashier: “Do you know which one he wants?”

Customer: “Star… something.”

Cashier: “Star… Wars? Star Trek?”

Customer: “Yes.”

Cashier: “Which one?”

Customer: “What’s the difference?”

Cashier: “How old is he?”

Customer: “Fourteen.”

Cashier: “Hmm, if he were younger, it might be Star Wars, but I know a lot of teens who are into Star Trek now. Does he like Darth Vader or Captain Picard?”

Customer: “I don’t know what any of those words mean.”

Cashier: “Is he into pew pew bang bang, or utopian space socialism?”

Customer: “What the h*** are you talking about?!”

I decide to help.

Me: “Ma’am, is your nephew the kind of kid who would do sports or join the debate team?”

Customer: “He’s… on the football team. Why is that relevant?”

Cashier & I: *Simultaneously.* Star Wars.”

The cashier takes the customer to the ‘Star Wars’ section of the Funko Wall.

Cashier: “All of these are Star Wars.”

Customer: *Getting out a folded piece of paper.* “This is what he wants.”

The paper has ‘Ahsoka Tano’ written on it, and the cashier and I share a look of “couldn’t you have started with that?!”

The cashier got the Funko for her (she still didn’t know what she was buying, but she was happy to get out of there), and the cashier’s coworkers started mocking the cashier for how he tried to differentiate between the ‘Star’ franchises, resulting in a series of similar attempts by the rest of the workers after the customer had left:

Other Worker #1: “Ma’am, does your nephew like cowboys in space, or civil servants in space?”

Other Worker #2: “Ma’am, is he into space wizards or space accountants?”

Other Worker #3: “Ma’am, does he enjoy prophecies or performance reviews?”

And my attempt:

Me: “Ma’am, would he rather overthrow the government or work for it?”

Critical Miss

, , , | Right | June 11, 2026

I’m working a clopen (closing a night and opening the next day). The evening before, we’d had a card tournament that we were still cleaning up a little the next day. The phone rings.

Me: “Thank you for calling [Store Name], this is [My Name]. How can I help you today?”

Caller: “Yeah, hi, I was there last night for the tournament? You remember?”

He pauses for a second, and I’m thinking he forgot something or wanted to trade for a different prize. I don’t know him by sound over the phone, but goodness knows there were several dozen other people, so it could be anyone.

Me: “Yes, I was here for that. How can I help?”

Caller: “Yeah, well… did you know the lady sitting next to me? During round two?”

Me: “Uh… no, I’m not sure I do?”

Caller: “She had a really nice a**!

Me: “Uh…”

Caller: “Like, her a** was REALLY, REALLY nice! Do you know what her name is? I want to look her up! She had a really nice a**!”

Me: “Sir, if you continue on in this manner, I’m going to hang up.”

Caller: “NO! But I was there! And the girl sitting next to me at the tournament during round two! SHE HAD A REALLY NICE A**!”

There’s someone in the background trying to get him to stop, so, as the only woman working in the store, I do the only thing I can think of.

Me: “Okay, sir, I’m hanging up now. Goodbye.”

Coworker: “What was that about?”

Me: “Apparently, a female player last night had a nice a**.”

My male coworker sighs heavily.

Coworker: “…yeah, some men are like that. You did the right thing.”

The gent did not call back.

Not All Heroes Wear Capes. Some Sell Books About Them, Though!

, , , , | Right | September 8, 2025

A kid, about fourteen, wanders in one summer afternoon, backpack slung over one shoulder, and heads straight for the back issue bins.

Me: “Need help finding something?”

Kid: *Shaking his head, shy smile.* “Nah, just browsing.”

He ends up at the counter with a single comic, a Spider-Man issue from the dollar bin. He pulls out crumpled singles and exact change.

Me: “Good choice.”

Kid: *Grins.*

It becomes a pattern. Every week, same time, same careful choice. A single comic, sometimes from the bargain bin, sometimes a new release he’s been saving up for. Always exact change. Always polite.

Soon enough, he’s not just reading. He’s hanging out, answering other customers’ questions when they get lost.

Customer: “What’s the difference between ‘Silver Age’ and ‘Bronze Age’ again?”

Kid: *Without missing a beat.* “Silver Age is late fifties to early seventies. Bronze picks up right after. Want me to show you a key issue?”

He’s not on the payroll, but he might as well be. By fifteen, the regulars know his name. He’s the kid everyone waves at when he walks through the door.

On his sixteenth birthday, the staff huddle together before opening. Our manager holds a brown paper bag like it’s sacred.

Manager: “Alright, people. He’s here every week, and knows the shop better than some of us. Time to give something back.”

When the kid comes in, we stop him at the counter.

Me: “Happy birthday, dude.”

We slide the bag across. Inside is a limited edition issue of his favorite hero, the one he’s been talking about for years.

Kid: *Eyes wide, voice shaking.* “Are you serious? You’re… you’re giving me this?”

We all grin as he hugs the comic to his chest like it’s treasure.

A week later, the boss notices something online. Same comic. Same wear. Same kid’s username. He calls the boy in gently the next time he’s hanging out.

Manager: “Hey, champ. I saw that book online. You selling it?”

Kid: *Blushes, staring at the floor.* “I didn’t want to. But my mom’s medical bills are… Selling it could pay a chunk.”

The store goes quiet. None of us blame him, but it stings. We knew he was going to the hospital a lot, but he didn’t want to share more than that with us, and we didn’t want to pry.

The boss doesn’t hesitate.

Manager: “Alright then. I’ll buy it back. Full asking price.”

Kid: *Stammers.* “But—then you’d just—”

Manager: *Smiling.* “And you’ll still keep it. We want you to have it, understand?”

The kid blinks back tears. By next week, he’s not just hanging out anymore. He’s wearing one of our name badges, bagging comics, and ringing up customers. After school shifts at first. Then the weekends.

Five years later, he’s twenty-one, juggling college classes and still behind the counter on Saturdays, laughing with customers, explaining timelines and alternate universes like always.

His mom’s illness never went away. The bills keep coming. But now, once a year, the shop hosts a charity signing. A local comic artist donates sketches, fans line up down the block, and all proceeds go to help his family.

On the last event, the boy, now a man, stands at the front of the store, overwhelmed as a line of regulars presses donations into a jar.


This story is part of our Highest-Voted-Inspirational-Stories-Of-2025 roundup!

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Just Ask West/Keaton/Kilmer/Clooney/Bale/Affleck/Pattinson

, , , | Right | July 3, 2025

A teenage boy walks in holding up a trade paperback.

Customer: “Okay. Be honest. Is this canon?”

Me: “Let me see… That’s from a 2006 alternate universe miniseries. So technically no, but parts of it got folded into the main timeline after the 2011 reboot.”

Customer: “So… yes?”

Me: “It’s canon adjacent.”

Customer: “But he dies in this one. And in the main one, he’s alive again.”

Me: “Right. He came back.”

Customer: “But he got vaporized.”

Me: “That’s what made the comeback so dramatic.”

Customer: “That doesn’t make sense.”

Me: “It’s comics. Gravity’s a suggestion and death is a sabbatical.”

He flips through the book like it might change its mind.

Customer: “Okay, but then in this issue, he says he’s never been to space, but in volume four, he fights on Mars.”

Me: “That issue was written during the retcon arc, so technically, he didn’t remember Mars at the time.”

Customer: “So he was there, but forgot?”

Me: “Like I said, canon adjacent.”

He stares at me for a long moment.

Customer: “Okay, I think I get it.”

Me: “Cool, but don’t say that out loud. Every time you understand it, they reboot it out of spite.”

Introduced In This Issue: The Misprinter!

, , , | Right | June 2, 2025

I’m behind the counter bagging new releases when a customer storms in, clutching an issue of ‘The Amazing Spider-Man.’

Customer: *Agitated.* “Okay, I have a serious complaint. This book is misprinted!”

Me: “Oh? What’s wrong with it?”

Customer: “This page has a white bar at the bottom, where the color didn’t print right. This is a $5 comic!”

Me: *Taking the comic and inspecting it.* “Yeah, looks like a minor printing shift. That happens sometimes. It’s not super common, but it’s not unheard of.”

Customer: “This completely ruins the resale value. What if this ends up being a key issue?!”

Me: “We can, of course, swap it for another for you. We can even check inside first to see if the printer error has been repeated.”

Another customer who has been standing nearby joins the chat:

Other Customer: “Can I buy that from you?”

Customer: “You want a defective comic?”

Other Customer:Defective? Are you kidding?! That makes it a rare variant! In the future, collectors will be talking about the limited edition run of printing errors for this comic that make it worth ten times as much, if not more! I’ll give you the five bucks for it.”

Customer: “I thought you said it’s worth more?”

Other Customer: “It will be, just not today. I’ll take it off your hands for you.”

Customer: “I… uh… I don’t know.”

Me: “I’m happy to swap it out for you too, sir.”

Customer: “Actually, I think I’m just going to stick with this… thanks. Actually, can I get a sleeve and backing board for it?”

I sell him the sleeve and board, and the customer carefully inserts his now ‘extra valuable’ comic into it, and carries it out much more reverently than when he had stormed in with it.

Me: *To the other customer.* “You know it’s very unlikely that comic will be worth more than a normal print run, right?”

Other Customer: “Yeah, but I could tell from the way he was going on about it that he was a jerk.”

Me: “Would you have bought it from him if he’d sold it to you?”

Other Customer: “H*** no, but that was never going to happen. Now he’s going to hold that comic in his collection with pride, and you don’t have to deal with him.”

Me: “You’re beginning to sound like a comic book villain yourself.”

Other Customer: “Think of this as part of my origin story.”