I’m a tax accountant.
Client: “Why am I paying so much tax?!”
Me: “Well, someone has to pay for the schools and roads.”
Client: “The government should pay for that!”
Related:
Taxing Taxing, Part 29
Taxing Taxing, Part 28
Taxing Taxing, Part 27
Taxing Taxing, Part 26
Taxing Taxing, Part 25
A couple of guys are at my checkout and have just paid for some items.
Customer #1: “Oh, crap. I forgot I needed to get some toothpaste. I’ll run back and get some.”
Customer #2: “That’s stupid, now you gotta pay tax twice.”
Customer #1: “Huh?”
Customer #2: “Yeah, two transactions, two tax payments.”
Customer #1: “Oh yeah, that sucks.”
Me: “Uh, the sales tax is the same regardless of how many transactions it’s split across. It’s not like a set fee or anything.”
Customer #1: “No, my friend must be right. He’s an accountant.”
Customer #2: *Nodding smugly.* “That’s right. I do people’s taxes.”
Me: “Oh, cool! Do you have a card?”
Customer #2: “I certainly do!”
I made sure I showed the card to everyone I knew to make sure to never ever file taxes with that guy!
In 2019, I started working for a big accounting firm right after college. I already had a bit of experience because of a few internships, and I’ve always worked part-time since I was sixteen, but I was mainly hired because I spoke four languages and they had business with a lot of foreign clients.
I was hired as a consultant, but I did a lot of things. I really enjoyed organizing big files, and I had a lot of experience with Excel, since I had paid for a professional course during college, so besides my usual work of handling some clients and doing my reports, I was also doing a lot of things like sales reports, client reports, basically most of the Excel files, and a lot of computer-based tasks.
When COVID hit, and we started to work from home, I was able to automate most of my tasks for two or three months. I was able to program a code that would basically do the sales reports (the most important file) and a few more automatically, and I could update it if needed.
My boss was over the moon with the update part, but I did not tell him that it was being done automatically; I did not tell anyone, as a matter of fact. This gave me a lot of extra time to talk to clients and pick up a few extra new ones, which gave me a considerable pay rise, since I was highly appraised during the meetings with my direct boss and a few higher-ups.
Whenever I did take time off, I had to delegate all of my tasks and clients’ meetings to anyone I trusted, which was mostly Jimmy (fake name). Jimmy was a good personal friend of mine and was married to my cousin, so we would occasionally take time off at the same time for a vacation or family gathering.
I was saving my vacation days for summer and winter, and in the only days I took during 2020, I left my tasks running automatically. I told Jimmy that he didn’t need to do them, and he really didn’t ask questions since it was less work for him.
Jimmy and I also took a few days off at the same time to go to a wedding in another country. I was told by my boss that he would let it happen, but to not make it a habit to take our vacation at the same time, and that I would have to work a bit harder to thank him for his good deed. He also pointed out that my sales weren’t getting any bigger in the last few months. I reminded him that I had the highest number of sales in all the department and I was the only one with the extra tasks, but he just told me that it wasn’t a big deal, and that anyone could have done that.
So, when I went on vacation, I turned off all of my automated tasks.
This was a big deal, since it was the end of the month and my boss would need all my reports completely updated. Apparently, they had to put five people to do my tasks so that they could finish the reports, which delayed the work of that team, and the reports were late and lacked a few things that mine had.
All the higher-ups weren’t happy with my boss, since he showed them the reports late, and they were clearly a downgrade from mine, and they also commented that there was a team failing a lot of deadlines that month (which was the team assigned to do my tasks).
As soon as I got back to work, I got a call from my boss apologizing for not appreciating my work with the tasks, and asking me not to take time off at the end of the month ever again. I told him that it was an unreasonable request, and I reminded him that he already approved of my week off in two months. He straight-up told me that it wasn’t approved.
I am not an angry person, but I got really upset about that. He told me that as long as it wasn’t at the end of the month, I could take time off whenever I wanted. Okay, fine.
As soon as I got out of the call, I started looking for other jobs, and I scheduled all of my time off (about three weeks) in the next month (the busiest month for us). Most of the big clients didn’t speak English, and they only wanted to talk to me, but nevertheless, my boss approved.
Subsequently, Jimmy also scheduled time off at the same time, so despite not being the end of the month, someone had to do my tasks since I would, once again, turn them off.
Apparently, they weren’t able to handle either my clients or my tasks, so they just ignored the tasks until I got back. This caused some of the clients to get really angry, since no one could really assist them as well as I could (I actually got a call on my personal phone from one of them, asking me to assist him in my personal time).
This was a huge client. He was actually a great person who had huge respect for me, so I said it was fine as long as he came to my location (I was on vacation with my family).
Long story short, he came with a yacht and invited all of my family to go there and to the villa he rented. I spent a whole day helping him. Best of all, he was more than happy to offer me a job once he knew I was looking for other jobs, since apparently I had sent my CV to one of his buddies’ companies.
It was a great offer with lots of benefits, and the offer would also extend to Jimmy, who was actually going to work for me, with a great salary. In my country, you don’t have to give two weeks’ notice to your boss, so I just quit when I returned and told him that I wouldn’t do any of the sales reports. He was p***ed, but there was nothing he could do.
I am still in the same company, but with a higher position now. I don’t really have a schedule; I just have to travel a lot, which is fine by me.
Last I checked with a few friends that still work in my old company, they had to hire a whole team to handle my tasks, and a few of the clients quit because they weren’t satisfied with how they were being handled. Value your employees more!
There’s been a change to tax law this year, due to the “One Big Beautiful Bill”. For new cars where the final assembly was in America, the interest on the loan can be taken off as a deduction on your taxes.
I’m explaining this to all my clients. One of my clients lights up like a Christmas tree display in excitement. He’s bouncing in his chair like a small child, repeating:
Client: “My car was assembled in California! I’m so excited! I have a Californian car!”
He is so innocently excited and happy it makes me smile too, so I decided to excite him a little further.
Me: “You’re going to be my first client ever to actually take this deduction.”
Now he’s repeating:
Client: “My car was assembled in California, and I’m going to be the first!”
Part of the process to take this credit is looking up the VIN to see where the car was assembled. We both eagerly look up the VIN together. The car was manufactured in…
Baja California, Mexico.
My client’s face just drops. He isn’t angry, just super disappointed.
I feel bad for him. I have a stock of candy in my desk so I can reward myself after doing difficult stuff. I hand him a Deutsch chocolate bar as an apology.
He lights up a bit again, albeit not quite so brightly.
You might remember me from this story. It happened again.
Just for some background, we’ve moved since the last time this happened: We’re no longer located in the mall, rather we’re located in a strip mall kitty corner to the mall we were originally located in. We moved the year before last year, and it caused a lot of chaos when clients couldn’t find us, even though our old location was visible from the new one.
Unlike last time, this client was actually cognizant enough to be capable of advocating for himself. That didn’t help much. The day was a Tuesday, and we’d had a bout of freezing rain in the morning.
The client arrives around 1 PM, well after the freezing rain stopped. We did his taxes, his pickup was scheduled for 2 PM, and he went up front to wait. And he waited, and waited, and waited.
Eventually, he called Metro Mobility, and they said that they were ten minutes away. He waited fifteen minutes, called, and was told that they were five minutes away. He waited again for eight minutes, then called and was told that the bus was one minute away.
So, he went outside to wait and called after three minutes and was told the bus was right there. It wasn’t.
He waited a while, then came back in. He called Metro Mobility again, and they didn’t even have an excuse for the bus not showing up. They didn’t say “The bus arrived and didn’t find you,” they didn’t say “Maybe the bus is in the wrong place,” they said:
Metro: “We don’t see your pickup in the system.”
So, he got them to agree to send ANOTHER bus. It was now 3 PM.
3:45 PM, he’s getting nervous, so he calls in again. Once more, no record in the system. So, he agrees to wait again while they get a bus out there. No time frame.
So, we wait until 4:30 PM. Still no bus, and we close in three hours. He tries to call Metro Mobility, but the call center is closed. Deja. Vu.
Me: “Last time this happened, we resolved it by calling the police.”
Client: “I’ll keep that in mind, but also f*** the police.”
Fortunately, the bus finally arrived at 4:45 PM. The driver complained that he couldn’t find the place. That might have flown last year when you couldn’t find us on Google Maps, but we got that fixed, and the Google Maps pin shows exactly where we are.
The client leveled his most unimpressed glare at the Metro Mobility driver and said, exhausted:
Client: “I don’t particularly care about your excuses. Please, just take me home.”
Related:
Someone Needs To Be Held Accountable
