Blood, Sweat, And Severance

My office had one of those annoying bosses who always liked to repeat:

Boss: “We are like a family here!”

He would say it during job interviews, company-wide presentations, and sometimes even in his email signature!

Last year was a financially trying time for the company, and layoffs were looking inevitable. We’re having another company-wide meeting where this is being discussed.

Boss: “We’ll do everything we can to mitigate any damage; after all, we’re like a family here!”

This annoyed some people, considering what was being discussed. Someone else senior shouted out:

Senior Coworker: “Yeah, a family that is constantly evaluating if it can get rid of family members to save money!”

That actually got a laugh. Layoffs sadly happened, and that boss has never used that phrase ever again.