implement more noisebridge-like conflict resolution practices beyond ATL

[nc@…]

our ATL policy is based closely on noisebridge's, and we adopted it quickly out of need. at noisebridge, however, ATL is at the tail end of a long list of attempts to diffuse a conflict. i think our adoption of it without also adopting the lower-level practices done before it may have created a situation where we feel ATL is the only thing we can try in a conflict, or the only way we can get support of others in the space in diffusing it.

here are some of the relevant noisebridge pages on conflict resolution:
​https://www.noisebridge.net/wiki/Conflict_Resolution
​https://www.noisebridge.net/wiki/Conflict_Resolution

and a few resonant quotes/practices from it:

"Is someone bothering you? Talk to them about it -- and be excellent while doing so.
This is a pretty important step, and it usually has the desired effect. It should not be skipped if at all possible."

"Did that not work? Or are you afraid to approach the other person? Ask someone else around the space who you like and/or trust. Maybe they can come along with you to talk to them, or talk to them as your proxy."

"Discussing personal conflicts at the larger group level is not really considered all that excellent. On the other hand, a small supportive group environment more specifically committed to calm discussion and de-escalation can help defuse a problematic situation. If the parties involved cannot reach a resolution by talking with each other, or with the help of a mediator, the mediator can suggest calling a meeting of the Safe Space Working Group to involve other people to help resolve the conflict. If you try to follow these suggestions, that would be totally excellent."

"Noisebridge has partnered with the Global Kindness Intitiative (GKI) to teach workshops here in an effort to create a community that honors differences while working together to solve potentially difficult and uncomfortable social situations."

"Restorative communication is similar to non-violent communication (NVC) and both involve talking in terms of observations, feelings, needs and requests to reach mutual understandings."

"

Here are the Core Concepts of Restorative Practices:

How we feel is important. Our emotional state has enormous impact on our ability to be productive, experience enjoyment and satisfaction, and make positive connections with others.
All conflicts share an underlying structure. Conflict arises when someone does or says something that we find harmful, and we want them to stop or change their behavior.
Threatening language backfires. When we want someone to change their behavior, we usually use threats, fear, or punishment to get them to change. “If you show up late again, you’re fired.”
Communicating observations, feelings, needs and requests restores connection. Using Restorative Communication, by clearly expressing our needs and offering the space for others to do the same, we can create change through building greater connection, compassion, and collaboration. “What can I do to support you in being prepared and on time for the meeting tomorrow?”

" "

Think of a specific event that occurred recently. Describe the exact behavior you would like to see changed.

LOOK: Describe what you saw happen.
FEEL: What are some of the emotions you felt as a result of this happening?

What do you think the other person is feeling, and why?

OFFER: Is there something you can offer to do for this person to help get their needs met in a different way?
ASK: What specifically would you like them to do differently? Write down the S.M.A.R.T. alternate action that you would like them to take.

"

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apparently sola has a lot of experience with noisebridge's ATL & 86 policies

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Milestone renamed

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Ticket retargeted after milestone closed