Oh my gosh, there is a specific kind of exhaustion that arrives in the last few weeks of the school year, isn’t there? It’s like a sunnier version of Christmas where it all feels faster and more fragmented, more demanding of time, juggling and logistics. We’re moving towards endings of terms, towards the summer holiday juggle, endings are in sight and the load increases.
I am writing this with three children in school, an eleven year old who is about to leave primary, a class WhatsApp that pings on the regular, and a new puppy added to the mix.
If you are a parent of school-aged children right now, you are in one of the most under-acknowledged seasons of the year. And if you have a child leaving primary, like I do this summer, there is a whole nother layer going on, whether you have given yourself permission to feel it yet or not.
So, here are five things I want to share with you
1. The logistical load is not in your head.
The end of the school year is a logistical avalanche! You’ve got the sports day, leavers’ assemblies, class trips, residentials, teacher gifts, end of year concerts, the summer fair, the class WhatsApp lighting up with twelve simultaneous threads about who is contributing what.. and the disco (and likely more).
And all of this is happening on top of the normal load of life. Work has not quietened to accommodate for it, dinner still needs cooking, and homework still needs to get done.
If you feel scattered or like you’re treading water, that’s not lack of organisation or love, that is an accurate response to the additional demand, so be kind to yourself!
2. Your child is also fizzy
If your child has been more emotional, more needy, more clingy or more dysregulated than usual in the last few weeks, they are responding to the same season you are. The end of a school year is a big transition for a child, and it’s likely there will be lots of conversations happening in their classes about the changes ahead. Plus, friends will scatter for summer, teachers will be left behind and routines will shift. Some of them are moving schools, which is a change of almost everything familiar.
What we are often seeing in this stretch is the ‘coke bottle effect’ on overdrive. Every day at school is a bigger shake of the bottle than usual, because underneath those normal demands there are goodbyes, the anticipation of what’s to come, and uncertainty of what the new normal will feel like. And then that coke bottle cap comes off at home, in the safest place.
I myself find that often I question my parenting at this point, but need to remember I’m parenting kids who are at the end of something significant, yet they may not have the language for it.
3. Even good transitions are demanding
Even when a transition is positive, and we’re excited about them, transitions can be one of the most underestimated stressors.
It is not just school, it is the end of a community you have been part of, and the end of a chapter of your child’s life (and yours too). It’s a shift in the daily rhythm of pickups and familiar faces and spaces. And there can be a real tangible grief involved as we see our children move and grow, even if it sits awkwardly next to the pride and the excitement.
4. Lower the demand everywhere else.
Something I always have to remember., and want to share with you is that the end of the school year isn’t time to start other new things, or take on new responsibilities and load. The kindest thing you can do for yourself in this busy season is to make the path smooth where you can and lower the load and demand where possible. Order the takeaway, cancel the optional, reduce the cognitive load wherever you have control over it, because the school is currently using all of your free headspace. This is wisdom and compassion!! Finding ways to match your output to the actual capacity you have is so important.
If this is the season you most need to mother yourself, my Mothering the Mother Sofa Session was made for you. It’s a compassionate, practical hour on how to tend to yourself when everyone else is needing you most.
5. Repair will be needed, probably daily.
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