Reading · Animal Politics with Ed Boks

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*Do dogs have friends? Modern science says yes. And the joy they feel is real.*

Introduction

Sometimes the most important questions don’t come from a laboratory. They come from someone who has spent years quietly watching dogs.

Liz Keller, a New York dog trainer, recently wrote to Animal Politics after noticing something she couldn’t quite explain. A group of young dogs in her daycare didn’t just enjoy playing together. They seemed to look forward to seeing one another with an excitement that reminded her of children racing off to preschool.

One little girl she once cared for explained why she loved preschool so much in four simple words:

“Because I’m with my people.”

Liz wondered whether dogs might experience something similar. As it turns out, modern science has a surprising answer.

For decades, the study of dog behavior was treated as a simple subject. Dogs were thought to operate mostly on instinct, following pack hierarchies and responding to training commands. Researchers did not spend much time asking deeper questions, like whether dogs form real friendships, feel genuine excitement, or follow unspoken rules of fairness with each other.

That has changed dramatically. Starting in the 1990s and accelerating through the 2000s and into the 2020s, scientists at universities around the world began studying dogs the way they study children. The results have been remarkable.

Dogs have been shown to recognize and respond appropriately to many human emotional cues, cooperate across species, follow rules of fairness during play, and form selective, lasting bonds with specific individuals. The University of Arizona found that on several tests of social intelligence, dogs performed more like two-year-old children than chimpanzees did. The finding suggests that dogs and humans may have evolved side by side in ways that shaped both species.

Duke University scientist Dr. Brian Hare, author of “The Genius of Dogs”, describes this as “survival of the friendliest.” His research argues that over roughly 40,000 years of living alongside humans, dogs were not just trained. They were changed, biologically and socially, into one of the most socially intelligent creatures on Earth. Their brains are wired to seek connection, to bond, to cooperate, and to seek rewarding social interactions with the people and animals they know and trust.

With that context in place, here is...

This Week’s Question

“I have been having a great time working with puppies in a daycare program. There are four young dogs in particular that just amaze me.
Peaches, my golden retriever, is three years old. Luca is a client’s Lab/pit mix, nine months old. Sailor, the seven-month-old, is a client’s dog. Bug is a shepherd mix, four months old.
As individuals, Peaches lives with me and a senior pit named Tasha, who is 15 years old and top dog at home. Peaches respects that at home. But when Peaches is in daycare, she is the leader and keeps the pups in check. She can’t wait to get out and barks and jumps until they all meet and run together right out the door.
Luca loves everyone. He gets confidence from Peaches and a total brother vibe from Sailor. Bug loves to play and tests the waters with Luca quite frequently. Bug was very dramatic and shy for just a day but became the first one to the door within a day.
The dynamics with these four dogs are very profound and leave me in awe on a daily basis. They remind me of children in pre-K classes, in regard to how they interact with one another and care for each other.
A young girl I once took care of used to get so excited to go to school. One day I finally asked her why she loved school so much. And her answer was: ‘Because I’m with my people.’ What an amazing answer.
So do dogs feel that way? Can they just be dogs in daycare, with no real pack order and no real rules like at home?
My question is: what is the most up-to-date research that would explain this behavior?” -- Liz Keller

Animal Politics Response

Liz, what you are describing is real, it is documented, and it is one of the most exciting areas in modern animal behavior science. Let’s walk through what the research actually says about each piece of what you are seeing.

The “Can’t Wait” Feeling Has a Name

When Peaches barks and jumps at the gate until the whole group bursts out the door together, she is showing what scientists call “anticipatory behavior”. This is a well-studied phenomenon in which animals display physical excitement before a positive event they have learned to expect. A 2022 study in “Frontiers in Veterinary Science” found that anticipatory behavior “increases in frequency or intensity as the time of a predictable positive outcome approaches,” and it stops once the thing the animal was waiting for finally happens.

Here is the important part: the strength of the anticipatory behavior reflects how much the animal values the experience. Peaches is not just excited the way she might be about a walk or a meal. She is showing peak-level anticipation because daycare with her group ranks among the most rewarding experiences in her life.

This is backed by brain chemistry. Anticipation of a highly valued reward triggers a release of dopamine in the brain, a neurotransmitter involved in reward prediction, motivation, and learning. In other words, before the door even opens, Peaches’ brain is already firing. The drive to get to her group is not just behavioral. It is neurological.

The Chemistry of Connection: Oxytocin and Cortisol

What happens once the group is together is equally fascinating. Social play between dogs triggers the release of oxytocin, sometimes called the bonding hormone or the “love drug,” while simultaneously lowering cortisol, which is the body’s main stress hormone. A University of Canterbury thesis examining oxytocin’s role specifically in doggy daycare environments found that it actively regulates social behavior and stress in high-energy group play settings.

A 2024 study led by Dr. Gita Gnanadesikan and published in Psychoneuroendocrinology found that children who interacted with dogs, whether familiar or unfamiliar, showed significantly higher oxytocin levels compared to solitary play, and the dogs showed measurable drops in cortisol afterward. Both species were calming each other and bonding at the same time. Now imagine that effect multiplied across a group of dogs who already know and trust each other.

That is Liz’s daycare group.

Dr. Hare’s research describes this as an “oxytocin loop,” a system in which positive social contact between dogs, or between dogs and humans, keeps triggering the bonding hormone in a cycle that reinforces the relationship. The more they play, the more they bond. Positive experiences together can strengthen their preference for each other’s company over time.

“Because I’m With My People”

That little girl’s answer is one of the most honest descriptions of social belonging ever recorded. And yes, based on the science, dogs appear to experience something very similar through social attachment and companionship.

A 2020 study published in the National Institutes of Health database found that dogs are measurably less relaxed and more alert when resting alone compared to when they are resting with familiar companions. The presence of dogs they know and trust provides real physiological comfort, not just social activity. In the same way the girl felt different at school than at home because her group was there, Peaches feels different in daycare than she does in your house. Both environments are loved. But they offer different kinds of belonging.

A 2019 study published in PubMed Central (PMC) found that dogs can form relationships of comparable quality with both humans and other dogs, and that these relationships vary individually. They form real friendships, with preferences, recognition, and loyalty. The dogs in Liz’s group are not interchangeable to each other. Luca wants Peaches. Bug wants Luca. These are specific relationships.

Why Peaches Can Be a Follower at Home and a Leader at Daycare

One of the most insightful observations Liz made is about Peaches respecting Tasha’s authority at home while being the clear social guide at daycare. This is not contradiction or confusion. This is sophisticated contextual intelligence.

Research confirms that dogs are very good at reading context and adjusting their behavior based on the social rules of each setting. Tasha has been Peaches’ housemate for years. That relationship has its own established social order, and Peaches understands it. At daycare, Peaches is the most experienced and socially confident member of the group. She reads that context too, and naturally becomes the dog the younger pups look to for confidence and direction.

The Merck Veterinary Manual notes that “one of the most remarkable aspects of canine behavior is the ability of dogs to thrive in mixed-species social groups,” and that proper development of social skills is best accomplished by beginning structured socialization as early as possible. What Liz has created is exactly that: a structured, predictable group where each dog has a role, and the roles are understood by everyone.

The Science of “Kindness”: Fair Play and Self-Handicapping

The behaviors Liz describes as kindness, care, and politeness have specific names in animal behavior science, and they are backed by substantial peer-reviewed research.

Ethologist Dr. Marc Bekoff of the University of Colorado spent decades studying play in dogs and wolves. He identified four unwritten rules that dogs follow during play, which he calls the golden rules of fair play: ask first (use a play bow), be honest (signal clearly that this is play), follow the rules (do not bite too hard, do not bully), and admit when you are wrong (offer a play bow after crossing a line). Research has found that fewer than 0.5 percent of play fights in dogs develop into real conflict. The social contract dogs form during play is remarkably stable.

One of the most remarkable behaviors within this system is called self-handicapping. This is when a stronger, faster, or older dog deliberately holds back, moves more slowly, lets a smaller dog “win,” or puts itself in a vulnerable position, specifically to keep the smaller dog engaged in the game.

When Peaches governs the pups with patience rather than force, or when Luca gives Bug the “brother vibe“ rather than overwhelming him, they may be actively self-handicapping. Research shows this requires a high degree of self-control and the ability to read a partner’s communication accurately. It is a sophisticated social skill.

What Liz was witnessing was not simply play. She was watching relationships develop. Modern canine behavior research increasingly shows that dogs are capable of forming stable social partnerships that influence how they learn, play, recover from stress, and navigate unfamiliar situations.

Bekoff argues this behavior is functionally comparable to what humans recognize as moral behavior, including making agreements, keeping promises, apologizing, and forgiving. He does not claim dogs are moral philosophers. He says their play behavior serves the same social functions that morality serves in human communities: it keeps the group together, keeps trust intact, and keeps everyone willing to come back tomorrow.

Bug’s Transformation: A Masterclass in Social Learning

Bug’s story deserves special attention. One day, dramatic shyness. The next day, first to the door. This rapid transformation is not luck. It is the product of social learning in a safe environment.

Research on playgroups in shelters provides relevant data here. A Maddie's Fund study of 172 dogs across four shelters, led by Dr. Lindsay Mehrkam of Monmouth University, found that dogs in structured playgroups showed significantly less behavioral deterioration over time compared to dogs without group interaction. Dogs in small, reward-based playgroups also had measurably lower cortisol levels than control dogs. The group was not just fun. It was protective. It buffered the dogs against stress.

While that study looked at shelter dogs, the underlying mechanism, that peer group interaction reduces stress hormones and slows behavioral decline, is relevant to any dog navigating a new social environment.

Bug experienced something similar in one day. He watched Peaches, Luca, and Sailor interact freely, safely, and joyfully. He learned through observation that this place was safe, that these dogs could be trusted, and that being part of the group was better than staying back. By the next morning, his behavior suggested he had become much more confident in the group. He was first to the door because he now understood what was behind it.

Interestingly, dogs do not have to be wrestling or chasing each other to benefit from being together. Not every social interaction has to involve rough-and-tumble play. Researchers have also found that dogs benefit from simply sharing space with familiar companions. Walking together, exploring together, resting side by side, or quietly watching the world can all help strengthen social bonds. Like close human friends, dogs often enjoy simply being in each other’s company.

The Pre-K Comparison Is Scientifically Sound

Liz’s comparison to a pre-K classroom is not just a nice image. It is supported by research at the highest level. A University of Arizona study published in Animal Behaviour found that dogs and two-year-old children show strikingly similar patterns in cooperative communication. Both readily follow social cues, work with trusted partners, and adjust their behavior based on the social situation. The researchers suggest these similarities may reflect parallel evolutionary pressures favoring cooperation and social awareness.

Just as a pre-K classroom has its natural leaders, its nurturers, its risk-takers, and its watchers who take a day before joining, Liz’s group has Peaches, Luca, Sailor, and Bug. The social roles are not assigned. They emerge naturally from the group, shaped by each individual’s personality, age, and experience. That emergence is what makes it so beautiful to watch.

Does Daycare Produce Different Behavior Than Home?

The evidence increasingly suggests the answer is yes. Purdue University's Canine Welfare Science Center notes that dogs who have regular positive social interactions show fewer stress- and fear-related behaviors, and that the benefits of social contact are long-lasting. A 2022 systematic review of 29 canine socialization studies published in PMC supports this conclusion.

Many owners report that these improvements extend beyond daycare, with dogs becoming more confident and comfortable in other settings as well. It helps them build confidence, practice social skills, and become more comfortable around other dogs.

The difference is not about which setting the dog “prefers.” Both home and daycare serve important, different needs. Home provides attachment, safety, and the deep bond with a primary human or animal family. The play group provides something else: peer connection, the opportunity to express the natural social behaviors that dogs evolved to use with other dogs, and the chance to practice the full range of social skills that dogs are built to use. They are not competing. They are complementary.

Liz’s instinct that dogs in daycare can “just be dogs, no real pack order, no real rules like at home,” is actually close to what modern behavior science tells us. Researchers today generally describe companion dogs as forming flexible social relationships rather than rigid dominance hierarchies. The rules are different in daycare, not absent. They are the rules of play, fairness, communication, and cooperation rather than the routines of a household.

Perhaps that is why Peaches cannot wait for the gate to open each morning. She is not simply racing toward another day of play. She is racing toward the companions who have become, in every meaningful sense of the word, her friends.

Part 2

Be sure to catch Part 2 in this series:

Why Has Dog Training Been So Slow to Catch Up with Modern Science?

Do Dogs Have Friends?