Here’s what we need to understand: whenever we share our sad and painful stories with others, we are seeking a reaction from them. Most of the time, the reaction we are hoping for is sympathy. We hope someone will hear our troubles and respond with, Omg, how awful, you poor thing!
When we don’t receive the responses we want, we will notice that we are actually asking for sympathy or attention from others. I mean, this is why people post on social media then wait for the likes and hearts to come in. People desire the reactions and attention.
If Person A told Person B their sad and painful story, but Person B didn’t react, flinch, identify with the story, nor offer sympathy—well, I learned that Person A could be triggered by this.
The lack of reaction from Person B is what happens once a person undergoes extensive true healing. Nothing is all that triggering or triggering at all.
We will notice, though, that the innumerable Person A’s in our lives are triggered by our lack of identification to their stories. Their stories don’t make us feel sad or bad for them. Their unfortunate circumstances don’t make us go awwwwww, you poor thing. (Except for innocent animals!)
It is sort of like listening to news reports of people that we don’t personally know. True healing doesn’t cause us to lose empathy or become apathetic, however.
When we’re not truly healing, we identify with others’ pain, fears, suffering, and sadness. To identify means we create personal meaning out of their story. Identification means that their sad story = we feel sad. Their troubles = we feel bad. Their circumstances = we feel sorry. Their heartbreak = we are in pain too.
Why is that? Because the way they are reminds us of how we already are.
In other words, we can only identify with others when their sadness pings our sadness, when their pain reminds us of our pain.
When we don’t have pain and suffering within us, then their pain and suffering becomes not a thing within us either.
In order for you to be triggered, there has to be a match between their pains and fears reminding you of yours. The only way their negative emotions can stir something up within us is if it was already within us.
In other words, you can only be triggered if it’s already within you. If it’s not within you, then it’s not possible to be triggered.
If you think about what feedback means, it means you are sending something outward. That thing collides or makes an impact with, say, a wall, then what you sent returns to you. It would be like hitting a tennis ball at the wall. It bounces off the wall and returns to you.
If you tell a sad story to a person who is energetically structured like a wall (due to not truly healing), then you will get feedback. The sad story you sent in their direction collides with their energy density then returns to you in the form of a response such as, awwwww, you poor thing.
If you send a tennis ball and there was no wall to hit and bounce it back to you, where does the ball go? It just travels. When people don’t get that ball back (as in, feedback), this could trigger them. They realize they cannot hook Person B into giving them attention, sympathy, nor validation. They understand that Person B will not save them and will not make other people’s problems into their problem.
If Person A cannot hook Person B into reacting and feeling sorry for them, then how will Person A become saved? This is the trigger.
When a person isn’t truly healing, they will have several novels within them to unload to therapists and counselors.
When therapists and counselors aren’t healing either, they have “much” to offer in the form of detailed commentary on every paragraph and sentence of their clients’ novels. Every word will be analyzed from every angle. An unhealed person in history once said to know thyself and people thought that was the answer.
Yet, my therapist cured me, said no one ever.
When we undergo true healing, what happens to the empathy and sympathy? We can recognize that someone is in pain but we don’t “descend” to meet them there—because that place within us is gone.
Instead, we simply recognize what they are going through without automatically (keyword) adding our own emotional color and interpretation.
I’m not talking about a person or a professional choosing not to judge others. Listen, if a person or a professional is choosing not to judge someone, that means the automatic response to judge is still there. Choosing not to judge is just a cover up in order for a person to feel more moral and professional and “spiritual”.
If Person A asks for solutions, we can offer solutions. But understand that the majority of people don’t want solutions. They want comfort, sympathy, an audience, and for their problems to just go away. That is why spirituality, religion, therapy, and false healing are so popular, and real healing isn’t.
Offering emotional color and feedback is exactly what therapists and counselors do when clients share their sad stories and situations with them. Why is that—because therapists and counselors don’t do any real healing. They take every sentence offered by their clients and render it full of personal interpretation. They analyze every thought forwards, backwards, right–side up, and upside down, because they think thoughts and emotions mean something. Then they add their own unhealed emotional reactions and triggers to the mix.
This is why clients of therapists and counselors often quote what they were told in their therapy sessions. “My therapist said” statements are fashioned into social media posts and articles—because the therapists and counselors are tying their personal emotional interpretation to the clients’ stories, and they are treated as golden nuggets of wisdom.
Look—no wisdom can ever come from lack of real healing, and I’m looking right at you, Carl Jung Sigmund Freud Eckhart Tolle Buddha Yoga Masters Osho Sadhguru the Krishnamurtis That Chiropractor All of Hay House and every professional or “expert” in between.
This content is for adults, is wholly for entertainment purposes only, and is the personal opinion of Ana Coeur. No part of this content is professional nor medical advice, diagnosis, guidance, treatment, nor suggestion.
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