I turned 30 last month.
Which means I’ve been a marketer for a decade.
Which also means I’ve spent a decade writing words that mostly weren’t mine.
Follow the tone and voice guidelines. Write for the reader persona. Match the keyword intent. Speak to the ICP. Use the customer’s language. Optimize for the query. And somewhere in the middle of all that optimization, I lost my voice.
One day, you open a blank Google Doc, and instead of reaching for something true, you reach for a template. A H1. A target keyword. A search volume number that tells you whether this topic is worth having.
You stop writing to think and start writing to rank. Eventually, you forget what it felt like to write.
I'm usually reluctant to make predictions about technology, but I feel fairly confident about this one: in a couple decades there won't be many people who can write.
One of the strangest things you learn if you're a writer is how many people have trouble writing.
‘Writes and Write-Nots’, Paul Graham
When I was in university, I grew a food Instagram to 21,000 followers. This was a genuine achievement at the time. It also felt like I had a voice and opinions that people cared about.
After a while, I got burned out and stopped using social media. Cold turkey. I stayed away from social media marketing and performance marketing (due to their close overlap).
I wasn’t ready for or equipped to handle them again. In hindsight, I wish I hadn’t given up so easily because performance marketing is interesting. Also great to have in your skill set. I’m seeing so many growth marketing jobs requiring performance marketing experience now.
However, I kept diving into other parts of marketing. Brand. Content marketing. SEO. AI search. Product marketing. Writing is an important part of the job.
After moving from one SaaS marketing role to another, I felt like I was losing my voice. Because, while writing is an important part of the job, you’re writing in the voice of the company. You may even write in the voice of the customer. In product marketing, you’re supposed to be the voice of the customer. You become a very skilled ventriloquist.
One day, you try to write something for yourself, and you realize: you don’t know what your voice sounds like anymore. You’ve been lending it out so long that it stopped coming home.
Recently, I was doing SEO and AI search. While that was technically interesting (the field is legitimately fascinating considering how much change is happening, AI search is rewriting what “ranking” even means), the writing was dry, and I knew this before, but I didn’t live it so intensely as I have recently, since it was a sole SEO role. It’s dry by design.
You’re creating listicles, comparison pages, and using keywords that, according to search data, are being searched, not your own words. You are building a document optimized for a machine that is trying to assess whether your document deserves to appear when a human types a specific string of words into a box. The human, to a large extent, is beside the point.
You do this, week after week, on deadline, because content calendars don’t stop. I was on autopilot.
So much so that when I started this substack a few months ago, I couldn’t find my own words to write. I was so used to doing the next thing and completing articles to meet deadlines. I had no soul left, and I didn’t notice until I stopped.
I remember seeing a post on LinkedIn in which a marketer said the biggest compliment she ever received was that her content had soul. I think there’s a lot of truth to that.
When I decided to take a career break, I was set on finding my own voice. I wanted to create a space that I’ve been neglecting and sit in it for a while.
And I’m still in the midst of doing that. The career break was supposed to be about a lot of things. Rest. Figuring out what I actually wanted next. Most importantly, finding my own words again. Some days are tougher to put pen to paper, despite how often I publish.
I took a writing course with Fenwick last year called ‘Uncommonly Clear Writing’. That was the moment I committed to writing at least once a week, even if it’s shit. I wish I had done it earlier. Now, I try to write 2-3x a week. I’m also testing video tools and playing around with Instagram and LinkedIn. I’m finding so much creativity in my life now.
I’m realizing how important building is. Even if you’re just doing it for fun. The more I write, the more I learn about myself, which I didn’t expect. After all, a lot of writing well is thinking well. I’ve definitely been thinking.
The reason so many people have trouble writing is that it's fundamentally difficult. To write well you have to think clearly, and thinking clearly is hard
‘Writes and Write-Nots’, Paul Graham
I started reading Paul Graham's essays. One and once a day, like a vitamin, every morning. Graham isn’t right about everything, but every essay is a genuine attempt to think something through, not a conclusion that sounds good or ranks well.
The discomfort of exploring different perspectives or nothing at all, taking your reader on that journey, and the commitment to arriving at an opinion that’s yours, even if it’s not entirely right. Writing, I’ve realized, is not just an expression of thought, but also something incredibly vulnerable.
Another thing I’ve realized? What you read and who you surround yourself with determine how you write. You’re not just an amalgamation of everything you consume or surround yourself with; your writing is, too.
I also, finally, started reading fiction. For a long time, I had written fiction off as a luxury I couldn’t justify. Marketer brain: if it doesn’t produce ROI, what’s the point?
I spent weeks rebuilding that discipline. It taught me something useful: you can lose the ability to follow a narrative that isn’t optimized for your time. SEO and SaaS content are engineered to deliver their value fast. Fiction asks you to stay, trust the long game, and to tolerate not knowing yet. I’d forgotten how to do that in writing, and I’d definitely forgotten how to do it in reading.
I’m building better writing and reading habits because of fiction. I also joined a writing club that provides me with excellent, anonymous feedback to act on, and I am working with a writing coach to regain my spark. It’s all helping me figure out what my writing style is right now, which has definitely evolved from when I was fifteen. Thankfully. We love growth.
In some ways, this feels like I’m discovering part of myself, and a form of self-care.
I’m still figuring a lot of things out. Sometimes I write a sentence that sounds like a case study. Sometimes I write a paragraph, and it sounds like me. Sometimes I write, and I’m thinking very clearly.
If you're thinking without writing, you only think you're thinking.
Leslie Lamport
But I’m starting to tell the difference again, which is progress.
I’ve been reflecting on this. I didn’t lose my voice because SEO is bad, because SaaS is soul-destroying, or because any of the jobs were wrong. Truthfully, I’m accountable. I lost it because I never built a practice of protecting it.
As I contemplate my next career move, I know I have to make time to practice. What I’m hoping, though, is to work for a workplace that also embraces this. A workplace that doesn’t want itself or its employees to shrink their creativity and become a write not. They’re going to be stronger marketers.
Through writing, I am also one step closer to understanding the kind of workplace I’m looking for, whether I create it myself or not. I guess that’s why they tell you to journal.
I’m curious — how many marketers are doing this right now, on deadline, in a Google Doc? Did SEO and SaaS kill your soul, too, or are you better at protecting it than I was?
am i... a marketer? is a newsletter about the weird, specific experience of working in marketing right now. if this resonated, share it with someone who’s in the thick of it.
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Avatar for Women Tech Meetup (Apr 27)
Builders & Brews (Apr 27)
Event Management on Autopilot (Apr 29)
Build After Dark (Apr 29)
Remy Hackathon: Live Kickoff (May 1-3) — sign up beforehand!
The Anti-Busy Club: Build an Agent with Gumloop x Toast (May 2)
Catch-Up On AI: From Overwhelmed to Informed in 4 Hours (May 2)
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