Jeff Bezos is in Dire Need of Attention!

I actually missed the livestream, but this footage of Gayle King boarding the craft was all I needed to see.

The 15-minute mission that Gayle and the ladies were subjected to spend alongside Katy Perry had the same energy as one of Selena Gomez’s many Instagram hiatuses. In summary:

It always starts so innocently. One minute I’m enjoying clips of Gaga’s immaculate performance, the next I’m fully invested in a particularly boring influencer’s soulless sponsored journey through the desert. What do brands get out of this, exactly? Besides a selfie in front of a tent and the quiet confirmation that charisma is dead, that is.

The finale was kind of a Big Nothing (which is actually a good thing for such a hyper realistic show) but as a Langdon apologizer, I’m a little disappointed by his arc.

Was his lashing out at Robbie supposed to signify a full addiction spiral toward rock bottom? Or is he actually that much of an asshole and I haven’t noticed because I’ve been blinded by his adorable chin dimple? Either way, it didn’t feel totally earned based on what we’ve seen from him. And more importantly, I forgive him. <3

At least we had touching moments from Mel, Santos, and Whitaker to end the season with some hope, but my favorite part of the finale by far was Dana dramatically packing up her desk. Girl, we know you got punched and we’re sorry for that, but also those overtime hours are too good to resist. We’ll see you next season!

What impressed me most about this film was the pacing. By the time Pacino and De Niro sit down for their first meet-cute halfway through (1.5 hours in lmfao) it somehow felt too soon. Masterful. And maybe I’m not a real cinephile, but I can’t help but associate Pacino with the stoic Michael Corleone, so watching him tap into full manic pixie energy was a treat.

These themed house parties full of randos have got to go. I’d much rather watch Carl blow money on a SoftBar event while his friends secretly wish they were drinking. As a non-evolved alcohol lover myself, they’re real for that.

Speaking of alcoholics (jk), I’ve had enough of Kyle’s DJ era. Go back to terrorizing your roommates, please. Thank God Amanda got her meds sorted before this endeavor fully kicked off otherwise I’d genuinely fear for her.

As for Carl, it was refreshing to see him gag Lindsay with confidence fully intact—which, notably, seemed to spike right after friend-zoning lemur girl. Not saying he’s back to old Carl, but there was a glimmer there. Maybe his self-worth hasn’t completely untethered from letting women down.

Apple TV is pretty “That motherfucker back there is NOT real” to me—yes, I’m outing myself as someone who just can’t get into Severance. But every once in a while, they’ll drop a funny-ass show that makes me rethink everything. First it was Rose Byrne’s Physical, and now it’s Seth Rogen’s The Studio, about—you guessed it—show biz baby.

And before you go full anti-Rogen on me, I get it. His bro-ey flavor of comedy is persistent and historically sometimes cringe… but listen, an unfunny person wouldn’t write in an Olivia Wilde-as-unhinged-director cameo! As someone still obsessed with the Don’t Worry Darling press tour, this meant a lot to me lol. With other cameos from Zac Efron and Martin Scorsese (and some truly important work happening with Kathryn Hahn’s hair extensions) there’s a little something for any Hollywood lover.

I’ve only watched the first episode, but when I tell you that it literally could have been 10 minutes long. God this show hasn’t been good Miley Cyrus dropped the unexpected bop “On a Roll” as Ashley O in season five.

As a Jean Smart stan since Homeward Bound, I’m glad to have her back on my screen. But I’m also over Eva and Deborah’s repetitive falling outs. It’s season four, grow up!

I’ve avoided this book for years because someone ruined the Remember Me-ass ending before I could read it myself—but after weeks throwing on VPR any time I needed to complete a menial task, I decided to give the audiobook a shot. And now that I’ve finished, I can say: the 9/11 of it all is obvious from the jump. That being said, don’t read the rest of this section if this book is on your list.

I finished it in two days, so I didn’t haaate it—though I probably would’ve if I’d actually read it. Audiobooks just have that sneaky way of sucking you in no matter how boring or bleak the story is. Back-to-back listens of Down the Drain and The Bell Jar last year, for example? Tragically beautifully but DID set my mental health back.

In contrast, MYORAR isn’t compelling enough to derail any personal healing journeys. The drugged-out haze is interesting, the prose is sharp, the side characters are solid, but the unnamed narrator? Flat. We get it—you’re depressed, hot, and rich.

The only time I perked up was during the surreal, Metamorphosis by Kafka-esque third act, when the narrator commits to her solitary blackout bit with clear goals and parameters. In the end though, it fizzled out when I wanted it to drag me closer.

I’ve been deep in the eBay/Poshmark trenches searching for spring dresses that aren’t overly floral but aren’t overly edgy. Abstract prints on sleeveless, slip styles is what I have been zeroing in on. For example, this gorgeous Citron dress that’s still available. Then, something happened to me: I found vintage Vivienne Tam in the wild at my local consignment shop.

Also… I really need a pair of honey-tinted acetate sunglasses that are under $80 but don’t look frighteningly cheap. So instead of spending a reasonable amount of time browsing and pulling the trigger on something like a normal person, I’ve hyper-fixated and overwhelmed myself with options :))))

Not proud, but not yet reaching shame territory.

Until next time!