Where did all the color go?

The other day, I was driving to the gym when it hit me:

All the cars around me were black, white, grey, or maybe a muted shade of dark blue. Perhaps the occasional pop of red.

That was it.

No bright yellows. No pinks. No aquamarines or retro greens. Just… neutral. Everywhere.

And it’s not just cars.

Look around. Open Instagram. Scroll Pinterest. Peek into the “dream homes” and wellness retreats and lifestyle brands.

It’s all beige, sage, cream, grays, and muted earth tones. Linen. White oak. Ceramic mugs. Open shelves. Decluttered counters. A perfectly placed eucalyptus branch in a handmade (& beige) ceramic vase.

And let me be clear: I love a tidy space. When my home is clean, my nervous system does feel more relaxed. When there’s less clutter, I feel more grounded. Calm.

But, I think that joy is found in the balance.

I’m not here to demonize minimalism or sleek, clean fonts or neutral palettes.

I personally integrate many principles of minimalism into my own life, and I often agree that “less is more.”

Seriously - give me a high-quality piece of clothing from my local thrift shop that I love over 10 random, trendy pieces any day.

But, I’ve noticed something in the “wellness world” specifically, especially lately - there’s an overpowering emphasis on the concept of “soft living” and what we believe is needed (especially aesthetically) to achieve that.

Muted palettes.
Decluttered everything.

A home in the countryside… or somewhere in nature.
As if the path to optimal health is paved with neutral hues and gentle exhales.

There are an overwhelming number of reels/Tik Tok videos that feature voiceovers that are quite literally whispered.

Soft. Quiet. Serene. Muted tones. Soft instrumental music.

Again, these are all lovely!!

What I’m noticing, however, is the implication that these are prerequisites to “healing.” To wellness.

And, I can’t help but ask: WHERE DID ALL THE COLOR GO?

And when did “minimal” become synonymous with wellness? With self-care? With healing?

Decluttering. Refining. Minimizing. Unsubscribing. Simplifying. Quieting.

Less wanting. Less noise. Less mess.

And, I get it. I really do. I love many of these concepts and have implemented them into my own life.

As a society, we’re so overstimulated. We crave peace… calm. We want relief from the chaos of the world. Relief from the chaos of social media and the noise/overwhelm of the wellness world.

I think a good dose of “unsubscribing” (from old belief systems, news sources that lead to overwhelm, accounts that generate comparison and self-devaluation, etc) is so very needed.

But what happens when we don’t just declutter our homes or inboxes or closets… but when we start decluttering ourselves?

When we start minimizing not just our things, but our personalities?

Our opinions. Our boldness. Our creativity. Our joy. Our hunger? (Click here to read my previous piece on this).

We think that a regulated nervous system looks like responding to events in your life in a calm, cool, and collected manner. Soothing.

I hate to break it to you… but if you stub your toe really hard, a regulated response does NOT look like “hmm let me go sit and meditate for a few minutes.”

It might actually look more like screaming “Ouch! F*ck! That really hurt!”

This example is actually from one of my recent podcast episodes where we interviewed Dr. Sophie Fletcher, and she gives a great overview of what a regulated nervous system *really* looks like, especially through he lens of German New Medicine. Click here to listen.

It’s become trendy to live a visibly content and peaceful life.

Muted tones. Muted expression. Muted desire.

To look peaceful.
To be tidy.
To want less.

To radiate a very Instagrammable kind of calm: The minimalist living room. The aesthetic breakfast. The neutral-toned loungewear. The clean, slow, quiet life.

Especially for women.

And again - there’s nothing wrong with that. Sometimes that is what peace looks like. And maybe, this is what fills your cup and makes you feel most alive!

Again… IT’S TOTALLY OKAY if beige is honestly just your favorite color. Or if you are genuinely drawn to that aesthetic and find it pleasing! If it brings you joy,

I’m sure that for a lot of people, this is truly what they love. And I think that’s amazing.

But muted palettes and sleek, minimalist aesthetics don’t need to be prerequisites for wellness. For living a soft, content, slow life.

Perhaps peace can also be found in the chaos and color and craving and clashing.

What if peace can also look like wild joy?

Bright joy. Loud joy. Unfiltered joy.

When we say we want to feel calm… what exactly do we mean by that?

Or perhaps what we’re really desiring is… numbness? Wanting to feel disconnected from our messy, wild desires and our colorful personalities?

I’ve also noticed this:

A lot of “wellness” retreat centers and spiritual spaces are… a bit sterile.

Crisp. Minimalist. Silent. Airy. Some greenery, perhaps.

Everything is beige and clean and gentle and aesthetic.

And while that can be lovely… sometimes it feels like it’s not designed for aliveness.

Is it designed to encourage wild, reckless joy… or for quieting our desires and appetites?

And perhaps that reflects something deeper:

That our culture doesn’t know how to hold bigness.

We’re not just minimizing our physical and digital spaces.

We’re minimizing our personalities. Our opinions. Our desires. Our appetites.

To be spiritual, you must be soft.
To be feminine, you must be gentle.
To be “evolved,” you must want less.

But, I don’t buy it.

I want a life that feels alive (even if it doesn’t match the wellness culture’s desired aesthetic or doesn’t look great in photographs).

I want joy that’s messy. Desire that’s a bit reckless.

Hobbies that are delightful to me, even if they seem to clash or look a bit out-of-place in the “wellness” world.

I want the bright pink couch. The maximalist bookshelf.

Talking about my obsession with NYC and Broadway shows!

The colorful, mismatched outfit.

I want a “soft life” that coexists with passion and expansion and messy, colorful bigness.

A slow life… that still feels thrilling and alive.

I believe there’s a balance to be had with everything.

Sometimes, clean is what calms you.
Sometimes, the clutter is a reflection of what’s not working.
Sometimes, the quiet is what’s needed.

Sometimes, a muted, neutral color palette is positively divine!!

But let’s not make those things prerequisites for peace. For wellness. For living a soft life.

Let’s not mistake muted for mindful.

Let’s not declutter so much that we forget how to take up space. That we forget how to see the beauty in the mess. In the clutter.

Let’s embrace the beauty of both minimalism and maximalism, making neither mandatory for a beautiful, peaceful, and healthy life.

Stay curious,

Abigail

If you want to learn more about me + my work, you can visit my website here.

Thanks for being here and reading along! <3