I Am Growing a Business the Way a Tree Grows

In 2022, when I sold my decades-old brick-and-mortar business and re-staffed the non-profit I had grown for 14 years, it looked an awful lot like success.

After 20 vibrant years of building heart-centered leadership inside myself and my community, I unfurled my palms and let it all go. And then I disappeared. And no one came looking for me.

What they don’t tell you is that slowing down a nervous system that has been in survival since the dawn of time is a long, arduous crash and burn. The truth is, a body-snatching health crisis had forced me to step away. A brutal onset of change blasting its way into my abundant life.

I slowed down. Moved to Nicaragua. Hunkered in the jungle. Hid from everyone but myself.

I felt everything. It broke me down. Nearly three years in bed. I wrote a book about it.

And ultimately, I made a promise with myself: Never again was I doing it all, alone.

Ever since, I have strived to remain inside that promise. I started to tell myself the story that I needed to go work for someone because I didn’t have the capacity to hold it all again. I had convinced myself that it ‘wasn’t my turn’ as I focused on motherhood and my marriage. I told myself that ‘you only get one chance to have it all’ the way I did those years in Colorado. ‘I should just be grateful.’

And now, most importantly, avoid leadership because it’s too much to hold. Instead, be a great employee…This was the next step, right?

I had owned beautiful successful businesses that grew and grew, in large part, due to the people who showed up to make my dreams happen. I decided, now, I would become someone who helps other people conquer their visions.

Start with teaching.

My intuition spoke, spotlighting the area that feeds me most. My exchange as a movement educator and writer. The arts. I cannot live and breathe without creative expression being central in all the healing.

I started my substack. Words I needed to write. Inner healing there on the page. Perhaps it will resonate with someone. I get to do this for me, first. ‘Writing myself right’ became my slogan.

I took my decades of knowledge into healing centers, teaching yoga, dance, qi gong and aerial. I have found a rhythm of moving around and teaching in various spaces. I get to show up and be part of community, in the flesh. My value system revolves around this, and I am grateful.

This then led to – wellness business consultation, speaking at leadership and intuition conferences and college expos. Salaries. Bigger contracts. A brief brush of corporate and other entities that appeared as opportunity. But would ultimately lead to a dead end, as their leadership rubbed against my values and I knew the cost of leaving myself out of the equation.

I said no to a lot of things that looked like “success”.

In a world that prefers to sell things fast, offer the quick fix, the “buy now,” the millions of offers spiraling around, I could not seem to find just where I fit. The leadership around me has not been a match to my values.

Where were the true, authentic team environments?

Where is the business with a heartbeat alive and well, steered by the flame at the center of someone’s chest?

This was harder to find than I expected.

I held myself steady. I trusted. And as I allowed the energy to collect, I opened a bit more to possibility. The fear of my illness, my dreams, the unknown – it all began to loosen its grip. As each aching joint in my body began to see bits of relief, I could hear my heart even more. And she was saying thank you for listening.

And so the next message came along.

Lead retreats again.

It was clear. And so I created nourishing containers. And every one of them filled with beautiful people (without Instagram, without hustle). Born entirely from love and energy. The pieces were making sense. And just as the steps appeared, one by one, I leaned in. I could feel the next thing coming.

Continue to live directly connected with your intuitive energy. And teach others how to do the same.

As I placed a hand on my heart to listen more deeply, the story I was telling myself began to shift. Years of refining my inner gauge taught me that intuition is discernment in action. I could see that ‘my capacity’ does not directly mean ‘I cannot lead a business.’ The promise to myself that I would never ‘hold it all again’ had a very important word at the end of it…’alone.’

Leadership is your destiny.

The answer came in with that clarity that only the voice of source, intuition and guidance can bring. Crystal clear and in a way that lands as “it is so.” There is nothing to argue. My angels are handing me the map to follow my soul path. It is up to me if I step into the adventure.

To be honest, at first, I shook my fists at the gods and goddesses pleading “why?!” I have already done this. I have grown things. I led the teams. Why do I have to do this?

I have learned not to ignore spirit. But I will challenge the calling sometimes. Just to be sure. And because I am a rebel heart.

I am a living, breathing entity of the work I do. This was the authenticity I was seeking. This is the expansion being asked. Me, leading myself from my heart, and holding the torch out for others to light from and then carry off on their own beautiful journeys, authentic to them.

The business I am growing holds sustainability at its core. I am not seeking to sell something today that will be gone tomorrow. I am in it for my daughter’s future ….and way beyond. Energy is everlasting and what seeds of light we plant now matter to me. And nothing in nature grows instantaneously.

I want to grow a business the way a tree grows.

Steadfast. Seasonal rhythms. Rest. And a space that may offer awe and beauty, infinitely.

I want to pour energy into something I can really stand behind, believe in. Something that is real. Purpose-driven.

Deeper, not louder.

Circular, not top-down.

Legacy, not disposable.

My values held their ground until I could see the whole picture. And once I stopped shaking my fists and feeling a burden, I felt ease. I was met with love all around me. I was granted time. And even people – the start of a team, my team – showed up, seemingly out of nowhere.

This is what spirit does. Shows up for us. The entrance is not always the knight riding on a horse with flowers. Sometimes it begins as the greatest inner squish of the guts (aka constriction) and then we hold ourselves through it, to find that expansiveness is awaiting. We just don’t get to skip the process.

The reprieve, the clarity, the insight comes and the language changes –

I get to build a business. And I am open to discovering a sustainable approach.

I get to do this in a way that holds it all for all of us – including me. And the biggest non-negotiable – The pause comes first.

I listen to my heart, and move from there.

Plain and simple.

Not to be confused with ‘easy.’

I will be brave enough to build at the pace of my nervous system. The 4 year break-through I just experienced has rewritten my cellular composition. Rest and mysticism are my center of gravity. Pisces in my 10th house. I do not need to force the path ahead. When I lean into resonance it unfolds…

I am the one who dreams the new world into being. And people come with me. We are all together on the path. Some of us just have to lead the way. All of us are equally crucial to the energetic wholeness.

We are all particles of matter constantly rearranging themselves. We were born to both go with the flow of energy and wield its power. As I regain my health, I am in deep communication with both of these processes happening within me.

Every day in my morning practice, I connect with my intuition. I offer space to hear what is happening inside of me. What atoms are already vibrating. What energy is formed and calling in more of itself. Because this is already happening. I grow from here.

I get to show that we can do it at the pace of nature. Exemplify how our own hearts have the answer. Our authentic energy – the nuclei inside of us already beaming – will collect more of exactly what is aligned with our highest potential.

Science and woo coming together to create the foundation. And from here, we launch.

And so, here I am, growing a business again. And publishing a book.

Building slowly.

Listening deeply.

I am sweetly excited and in no rush at all. I will stand here and root down with courage.

And if you are seeking that too — steadfast, sustainable, cyclical growth — you are my tribe.

Let’s build differently.

Because if we do not create sustainable models for leadership, for business, for success… who will?

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From my heart to yours,
Adge