The Inner Critic Isn’t Your Enemy

Today’s topic is an all-time favourite: the (in)famous inner critic.

I bet you have one just like the rest of us. And I would also bet that you struggle with him/her every day and after hours when you have important or meaningful things to do.

The internet keeps telling you to “silence the inner critic.”

As if it’s some dragon you have to slay before you can live your life.

In ACT, the critic is just one voice in the room. The trick? Don’t give it the mic every time.

So what is that inner critic? Just a bunch of thoughts, emotions and sometimes physical sensations that you feel, especially when you want to do something important to you:

Oh, but what will they think?

But what if I fail and make a fool out of myself?

What if there is someone better at this out there?

I am no good.

I cannot wear that. I cannot do that.

I am sure you recognize this. These thoughts are usually accompanied by anxiety, guilt, shame and a really nasty physical sensation: a lump in your throat, or something in your stomach.

But what if I told you that you don’t need to fight that voice? You don’t even have to debate it.

In ACT I don’t really care if it’s true or not. It’s probably true sometimes. Other times it’s not.

The struggle that comes with fighting this inner critic is almost always more damaging than the thought itself.

It’s like having an endless debate with a 5-year-old: it is, it is not, it is, it is not. And it goes on and on and on.

The inner critic is not an asshole. It’s just another voice in your mind.

In ACT psychological flexibility means to treat your mind and thoughts differently. Not silence them, not fighting them. Not getting rid of them.

Just unhook and do what you want to do.

So let’s see how you can practice unhooking.

1. Take a moment to think about your inner critic’s most-used phrase. These thoughts can feel like facts, but they’re really just mental noise. Let’s play with that.”

2. Identify the Thought

Write down two or three of the loudest ones. No need to overthink—just what naturally comes up.”

3. Defuse the Thought

• “Now, read each thought out loud, but this time, start with: ‘I notice I’m having the thought that…’

Example: Instead of ‘People will judge me,’ say ‘I notice I’m having the thought that people will judge me.’

Try it for each of your thoughts and notice how it feels.”

4. “Let’s take it a step further. Give this inner voice a character—maybe a name, a silly accent, or a cartoon-like persona. For example, you might call it ‘Debbie the Doubter’ or imagine it as a radio announcer called ‘Anxiety FM.’”

The critic will always have something to say.

Try this: the next time it pipes up, thank it for its input—then do what matters anyway.

You don’t need to shut it up. You just need to stop letting it run the meeting.