Dale and Anna both work, and they have children who are 8 and 10 years old. Anna volunteers with a local charity and often takes their daughter along. Dale coaches their son’s soccer team. Of course, the house, meals, and everything else are on their to-do list, too. Their marriage is starting to feel like an afterthought. Does this sound familiar to you?
“I miss you,” Dale says to Anna one evening as they sit on the couch after another long and busy day. “I agree,” replies Anna. “What should we do?”
Set 15 minutes after dinner each evening for quiet conversation time for them as a couple with the children doing some type of quiet activities. Set a boundary with the children that they can only interrupt if there is a true emergency. Use the time to check in with each other about what happened that day.
Plan a date to happen initially once a month. Work toward once a week or every other week. Do a variety of activities that they both enjoy.
Assess their budget to determine if they can go away for an occasional weekend by themselves, and also consider whether the family can go on vacation.
Connect with other parents willing to have their children visit and host their children in return so both couples have time for themselves.
Identify 5-10 minutes each day for a hug, prayer, or other connecting practices.
Being intentional about slowing down and paying attention to the quality of your marriage will send a message to one another that you deeply care about each other. It will communicate to your children how important your marriage relationship is to you, and that will help them feel secure and happy. The quality of your marriage contributes to all other aspects of your life going well.
Coach Susanne M. Alexander
If you’d like to become more mindful of how to navigate difficult moments in your relationship, the Accordia Way is designed to support you. It’s a process for making decisions together and overcoming challenges in unity, not by avoiding differences, but by learning to communicate with respect, clarity, and care.
Coach Susanne: Susanne@marriagetransformation.com
Coach Adrian: Adrian@thecoachadrian.com
1. Accordia Way Communication Mirror – a free 60-second check-in tool to help couples notice whether their conversations are respectful, safe, and collaborative over time. https://qrco.de/aw-mirror
2. “Let’s Answer Your Most Pressing Questions Together” – a simple form where you can share real questions and challenges about money, decision-making, parenting differences, and long-term planning. Your submissions help shape future videos and live sessions. https://qrco.de/aw-answer
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