I went out alone.

I went out alone today.

Isn’t it strange how simplest things like having a coffee alone - can be so terrifying?

I have been planning to do this so long, to go out grab a coffee sit there for a while, look around, be in space, be in present, do to people watching or just do my work.

To romanticize my day or just hour or two. But the idea of walking into that cafe alone?- Intimidating . Eating alone?- Nerve-wracking. Or if i sit there for long time will the owner kick me out? What people might think?- I’m lonely, maybe got no friends, is something wrong with me? I was feeling so many feelings at the same moment.

But today i went anyway. And maybe someone did look, and yeah the owner was staring until i ordered something. I realized no one really cared. The truth is most people are too busy in their world to judge mine.

Some of us have this fear of seen alone, society has made this unspoken rule: solitude means sadness, either friendless or pitiful. I used to worry about what others might think rather than giving importance to what i might needed. There is this weird pressure of always being with someone even if we are alone and happy we pull out our phones and pretend to be busy.

Today i noticed the details that i usually miss : the music, the third song they played was one of my favorite, also i did some people watching. A girl laughed into her coffee when her friend said something. An elderly couple entered with bright smile spreading on their wrinkled faces. For once i wasn't rushing to leave, i was just there.

You deserve soft moments now and then sometimes more often, even when there is no one to witness it. When you just smile to yourself and sometimes find yourself staring at some kid sitting with his mom.

This was overwhelming at first and later it felt empowering, freeing and joyful. I was waiting for the permission that i never needed.

Now, i want to do this again. If you are putting of the idea of solo date- do it. You don't need a reason to romanticize your life, YOU are enough reason.

xoxo,

Aayushi.

And don’t forget to subscribe ♡

Also you can find me on: Instagram | Fable

Subscribe now