I understand everything you do/want to do

Someone asked me this question the other day and it was supposed to be a joke. I laughed at it first but it also made me think. Not just a 5-min thought process, I had to write about it.

I finally got my bachelor's degree this June, after so many crying sessions and thousands of "I really want to give up" I passed with first class. In the moment, I realized if I can do something that I never liked, maybe I can fly high up if I do something that I truly love.

The question was really about my routine. About why I spend so much of my time reading essays and books, writing little fragments and watching silly shows that may never add value in a way most people expect.

My friends are moving in the straight line. Degrees finished. Job lined up and career in the same field. (The same path my parents sometimes wish I would choose.) It also makes sense, it is predictable, it is safe and structured, also most admirable. I understand why they do it. But when it comes to me, why I choose creative writing, the less defined path, I don't really have a neat answer to this.

But I know for sure that not everything that adds value is measured in numbers; not everything meaningful is measurable. Maybe it looks absurd. It is absurd. But so is chasing a job that you don't like just because everyone else is doing it, which barely makes you smile.

I know the road I took is less chosen, but if everything is this obvious and predictable then life would become a checklist. It is scary to not have a blueprint but isn't that the only way to truly be original?

I won't always have answers to these kind of questions, or sometimes I won't be able to explain why I didn't choose stability. Maybe that is okay. Not everything worth doing can be explained.

xoxo,

Aayushi.

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