37 anti-patriarchal resolutions for my 37th year

Hello Lovely Reader,

This is a repost from the last three years with an added anti-patriarchal resolution for my 37th year on our glorious Mother. As always, thank you for spending your precious time here. May it be another year of confronting patriarchal phallusies. 💜

Deviating from the medieval history/feminism intersection a bit here.

Birthdays have a way of forcing reflection upon us. Ruminating on how well we’ve spent our time and how we’d like to invest the remaining time in the future. I’ve never been keen on setting New Year resolutions, as it never feels like a renewal but more of a continuation. Aging as a woman, however, feels like a middle finger to the patriarchy, so that I will celebrate. That I will resolve to do better.

So, here are this year’s 37 anti-patriarchal resolutions for my 37th year on our beautiful Mother.

In the time of AI I will not shame myself for my heart; my humanness; my inefficiencies; my eccentricities; my pacing.

My long-forms often end with a call to action to look beyond, think beyond, and move beyond patriarchy. Yet, within my own writing there are often few examples provided outside of community enrichment. I will be more intentional with providing resources to move beyond these limiting patriarchal structures.

Imposter syndrome is a product of white supremacist capitalistic patriarchy and I will not allow my self-worth to feel less than in a society that feeds succubus-like off our collective shame. No one else is me, therefore no one else can give life to my words.

So much can be learned if we seek to understand others. I will seek out words long made available by those intentionally harmed within patriarchal structures who dared to dream of a more joyful, inclusive future.

As a woman, I have been socially conditioned to sacrifice for those around me. To chip away at myself to ensure they are whole. This year I will be selfish in all of the ways that bring me joy and pleasure.

I will approach my relationships with the men in my life in a trauma informed way. The patriarchy is hurting our brothers, too. As women, as feminists, we tend to look at our own insular pain at the hands of men and often forget that the patriarchy is predicated on men’s pain. None of us are free until all of us are free.

Too many times I’ve been trapped into sharing knowledge from assuming a good faith question being asked. I will trust my intuition and assert a boundary if I feel my time is being taken advantage of.

I will not let the infantile system of US women’s sizing sway my own understanding and recognition of my self-worth. If a pair of pants doesn’t fit, I will buy bigger ones.

I will not assume the folks around me are mind readers, if I have a need that requires attention, I will vocalize it. Too often we see direct communication as a form of rudeness, but that is because the patriarchy thrives when we are too scared to speak, when we are too distracted to know ourselves. Tone policed into submission and meekness.

White supremist capitalist patriarchs will destroy our Mother if we allow them. I will continue doing my part in leading a sustainable life and casting my voice/vote for those that prioritize climate solutions.

And an explanation isn’t required.

Spending time my way will be a requirement in this 36th year. I will continue spending time in my garden, reading, writing, laughing, and enjoying a well packed bowl of medicinal herb.

I will protect my peace and assert a boundary if someone in my life feels the need to raise their voice to me. My daughter deserves to know the identifiers of an unsafe environment.

As my teacher Dr. Chelsea Jackson Roberts said tonight during a glorious flow, “I will get to know myself. I will sit with myself.” I commit to further practice moments of mindfulness throughout my days. I will not fear the shadows in my brain, I will open my arms and greet them as an old friend, reading each new chapter of humanness.

The patriarchy is a succubus of shame. It feeds off our feeling of unworthiness. I will not feed the beast. I will not feel shame for what is human. Mother Earth made me and I reflect her beauty.

Though the rhythm gods did not bless me, I will find moments to move my body in ways that fuels it.

The patriarchy wants us to be isolated. There is a reason the party staunchly fighting to maintain patriarchal control also despises “15 minute cities.” If we are isolated, we are less likely to see our commonalities, our intersections, our shared joy. I commit to further investing into my circle of influence.

I will not shy away from existing. I will honor the women before me by asserting my agency.

‘To protect and provide,’ the patriarchal motto, relies on the aforementioned isolation and subsequent suffering. Needing accommodations does not make me less worthy, less valuable, less human.

Education and resources will only ever be equitable if the voices of the most marginalized are continually uplifted. It does not rest on their shoulders to fix the mess they did not make, we will honor the time and energy given to further the learning of the many and support the raising of the collective consciousness.1

Every day will be a celebration. Every moment I get to be here, experiencing this life, will be valued.

I will shed the mentality of my mother2 to ensure my daughter doesn’t shrink herself to fit into the societally accepted version of herself.

I will invest in myself. Purpose and passion will continue to be pillars of my life.

Reiterating a message I need for myself: direct communication is not rude. Communicating honestly with empathy will create the foundation to achieve personally-fulfilling prosperity.

The non-profit world left a trauma upon me that is still healing, but what I did firmly learn about myself during a tumultuous two years is that I will not align myself with white saviorism or the further hurt of marginalized peoples. I will not be complicit. I will also not be silent.

As a white woman, I posses unearned privilege. I will sit in the discomfort that is the reality that I have absolutely caused harm in this world and will allow that discomfort to be a testament to the unimaginable pain experienced.

I will be defined by the actions I took, not the words I spoke.

And with me. Peace will be practiced.

Our lived paradigms are what allows us to all experience our traumas uniquely, even if they are much the same. I will honor your paradigm and bear witness to your experience.

I will no longer hold shame for the deep love I have for learning. I will no longer hold shame for my disgustingly delightful plague and medieval history obsession. I will value what is learned and honor my teachers.

The breath is healing. Life is lived amongst the inhalations and exhalations.

My words are important, but they may not need to be heard in that moment. I will honor the mental burden my words may carry and choose to share them wisely.

I will not consume content that is actively seeking to oppress myself or others.

Due to my unearned privilege, I have access to utilize my voice in ways others do not. I will use my voice.

I will be present for life’s moments. This may be the only time I get to bask in the glory of the Mother’s beauty, I intend to witness it. I will wear my grey hairs like a crown of flowers weaved just for me.

The patriarchy has minimized, erased, and beaten the joy and pleasure from my fore-mothers. I will sit in my pleasure and laugh until my lungs require aide. I will witness my joy and cry as the weight of it moves me through this universe.

I will bathe in the well of self-love. Deep will be the love I radiate for I can not love well until I love my self wholly to my core.