issue #148: savor every moment

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A running theme of this newsletter lately has been the passing of time. It’s the thing parents of older kids always warn parents of younger kids about. Savor every moment, it’s all so fleeting.

It’s easy to brush off that advice when you’re deep in the trenches of diaper changes and sleep regressions and preferred parent phases and potty training and temper tantrums and refusal of all food that isn’t beige and formerly frozen. Sure, time is passing, but the days can feel endless and the repetition grating and the adjustment to a life that once revolved around you to around a tiny little emotional human is more than a little jarring. Where are the slow mornings, the freedom of open time after work to just see where the day takes you, the ability to go to the gym whenever you damn well please? What happened to that beautiful living room you curated, now filled with overflowing baskets of toys? When did those beloved dry clean only pieces get relegated to the back of your closet, for fear of ending up covered in snot and crumbs and whatever else it is they managed to get their hands on? Not that I’m complaining. A life lived with a kid in it is full and wild and rambunctious and lovely. But on occasion, I’ll admit I long for time that revolves around me, and me alone.

But I digress!

Around here, we are emerging from the diapers phase into the “big girl” phase. Learning to sleep in her big girl bed. Brushing her teeth like a big girl. Wearing weather and activity appropriate clothing like the big girls do. Figuring out how to manage emotions because she’s a big girl now. Going to big girl school this fall. And though big girl school for her, a three year old, is really just another day care, we’ve managed to get her pretty hyped on the change from a place she loves to something new by talking about it as school - not day care - because school, for her, is for the big girls.

The problem now, though, is that I’m not so sure I’m ready for her to be a big girl. Of course, I love watching her grow. I love seeing the changes and I love observing her brain move a mile a minute when she’s figuring things out and I love letting her explore her interests and I love when she plays on her own, finally. But with her desire to grow big and old and my the realization that it is actually happening - fast - I am struck with a certain type of mourning. It puts in stark light how fleeting our days of snuggles and childlike wonder and her need for me are, and there is a tension I feel, urgently and persistently, in needing to hold on to every little moment of this stage while I have it. To savor every sweet snuggle. To sear into my brain the feeling of her tiny hands as they hold mine, knowing full well that none of it will last forever.

So though big girl school is starting soon and time keeps passing and the season will slip slowly from summer to fall, I am determined to hang on to every last drop of August. Determined to carry summer things with us into September, taking advantage of whatever morning and evening light we can, indulging in ice cream even on the days that start to get chilly, and doing my very best to drag out time as much as I can.

So today I wanted to share with you a few of our favorite neighborhood places - for before school, after school, hookey days, weekends, and the many, many school holidays parents have to contend with. As you know, I am obsessed with raising my kid in Brooklyn, specifically our neighborhood- Clinton Hill - and why wouldn’t I be, with such amazing places at our fingertips? If you’re ever in the area, stop by one of these to say hi, we’ll probably be there.

We live in an absolute mecca for the best bakeries and coffee shops. There are truly excellent options every few blocks, all worth checking out (but few worth waiting in crazy lines for, given just how many there are, you know?). We do have some go to’s though - mostly for convenience - but also for vibes, quality of blueberry muffin, and how delightfully neighborhood-y they feel…there’s always someone to run into!

Prima: an absolute neighborhood staple, Prima is hands down Louisa’s favorite place to hit in the morning. She drags us there as often as possible, oscillating between their blueberry muffins, weekend breakfast burritos, and “tiny bears”. She likes to pretend to be a grown up with her milk in a coffee cup, and always prefers to sit outside on the back patio.

Otway: go before the line gets too long, but not so late on weekends that you miss the sticky buns.

Welcome Home: if we’re feeling like a bit of a longer walk, we’ll head to Welcome Home, a sweet little bakery on the Bed-Stuy border. Though they’re known for their cinnamon buns, I feel strongly that the bread pudding is actually the best thing they offer.

Strange Delight: technically a restaurant (that’s very good and worth visiting!), they recently started a morning program. They only offer drip coffee, so it’s not where you go for your fancy latte, but it is where you go for the best morning bun you’ve ever had in your life.

I am often asked what I like about raising a kid here, and though there are many, many reasons, a big one is access to playgrounds and parks. We feel supremely lucky to live in an area with a playground every few blocks, and like at the bakeries, there is always someone to run into. It’s so fun bringing the kids straight from school to the park together so they can continue to build friendships and expend whatever leftover energy they have, which seems to be annoyingly endless.

PS 11 playground: my daughter knows more people here than I do, and you can really feel how much the community cares about one another when you’re all together trying to wrangle the kids home for dinnertime, you know? Pro tip for the extra nice days: grab pizza from Impasto on your way over so you can eat while the kids play. Bonus points for sneaking in a beer.

Underwood splash pad: a favorite in the summer and on those random sweltering days we get through the fall now. Kids love nothing more than running through freezing water, for some reason, and we could be here for hours, uninterrupted.

I did not realize I was going to need a separate line item in my budget for ice cream this summer!! It’s impossible to say no to my daughter’s sweet face when it’s 90 degrees and I could use a little treat, too, but it’s brought us so much joy that there’s no way I’m going to stop indulging just because we’re headed back to school. Eventually the temps will drop and we’ll move indoors and it won’t be nearly as appealing, but until then, ice cream every day, baby.

Evelina gelato: sometimes there is a line and I understand if one does not want to wait in it, but I promise the peach gelato is worth it. I’ve also heard through the grapevine they are taking over a spot across the street to make it a year round, indoor thing.

Mister Softee: a New York City institution!! Vanilla soft serve with sprinkles in a cone. Nothing better.

There is no shortage of excellent restaurants in our neighborhood, but we have a few staples we keep coming back to time and again. Though really, you can’t go wrong anywhere.

Fat Rabbit: the food is mediocre, I’ll admit, but the vibes are good and the staff is truly incredible, which makes this a regular in our rotation. I love a place that makes you feel like home - and it’s always easy to get into, which is a nice bonus.

Aita: absolutely our most frequented place in the neighborhood, mostly because it’s mere steps from our apartment. The best part is all the outdoor seating they have in the summer, so we’ll regularly swing by after school pick up for a drink and a snack that turns into a full meal.

Pasta Night: *technically* Prospect Heights, but it’s close enough that I’m counting it as a neighborhood spot. It’s an easy and delicious, not at all fussy Italian spot that knows they need to cater to families of young kids.

Gertrude’s: also *technically* in Prospect Heights, it’s one of our frequent stops! I am partial to the burger, but everything on their menu is delicious and it’s on the sweetest brownstone flanked corner. Go for brunch, too, and don’t forget to check out their sister spot, Gertie.

Doris: I am including this one specifically on behalf of my husband, who often takes Lou here on “daddy and Louisa night” when I’m unavailable. They always order grilled cheese and attempt to play ping pong and she just loves running around their outdoor space.

Bar Heretic: A newer spot in the neighborhood, this wine bar has ample outdoor seating (that fills up fast) and the best chocolate chip cookies ever. They also have a bakery speakeasy - if you walk by and see bread in the window, it’s for sale!

Sometimes (ok, often) we get a day off! Though there is no small amount of stress in planning for these, occasionally it works out that I can take work off, too, and if that’s the case, we treat those bonus days together as just a little bit special. Think: meals out, a fun activity, maybe a movie night. No wrong answers here, and though I tend to prefer to stick around closer to home, these are great days to explore the children’s area at The Met, or to go say hello to the dinos at the American Museum of Natural History, or play tourist and hop on a cruise by the Statue of Liberty, or schlep down the beach, or head to the zoo! New York City has no shortage of wonderful things to offer kids, and after living here for 15 years, it’s a treat to get to play tourist on occasion.

But as you probably already know, I prefer to stick close to home, sometimes.

Breakfast by Salt’s Cure: Louisa and I have deemed this our “mommy and Louisa morning” go to spot. We love to get the griddle cakes, sit on the back patio, and just chat. It gets busy, so go early.

Space Club: often on days off we end up here. It’s a giant indoor playground designed by CJ Hendry, and it really is fun for both kids and grown ups. You’re lying if you say you don’t love jumping on the trampolines!!! In the summer they have a big outdoor splash pad with an inflatable water slide, which is also very fun!

Nitehawk: if you have a rainy day, make your way to Nitehawk for a kid friendly showing of a kid friendly movie. The lights are slightly brighter and the sound slightly lower and there’s food and drinks brought right to your seat.

The Fort Greene Farmer’s Market: though best in the summer, the farmer’s market does go year round. It’s always on our Saturday morning rotation, as we love strolling through, admiring the gorgeous produce, taking note of what’s in season.

Back to school season means back to school shopping, and there is nothing I love more. Us Substack nerds know that BTS shopping is all about the new pens and notebooks and highlighters and pencils, but it’s also about the clothes - and Gap has you covered there. It’s a great time to shop for kids, sure, but also for ourselves, because we deserve it, too. Shop my full edit here!

for the bigs:

for the littles:

ok that’s it from me, see you later!

xx

jen