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Secrets from an Interior Designer · Aug 6, 2026

Off the Record: Issue 01

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Alyssa Wray · Secrets from an Interior Designer

Hi friends! And again, welcome to all of the new subscribers! I don’t know how you all keep finding my little corner of the internet but I’m ecstatic about it! I’m not kidding when I say this is a spot-on representation of me right now.

This month, I’m switching things up and going off the record — an unfiltered recap about what’s on my mind, some personal BTS, and what y’all are loving.

While this newsletter will always celebrate approachable interior design, I also want it to be a space for something more honest. A place where we can relate to one another and foster a sense of community. So, giddy up!

Accounting is not subjective; it is very much black and white. Your debits have to equal your credits; it’s the core rule of double-entry accounting. There is no way around it.

Now, design, on the other hand, is subjective. Art is subjective. Beauty is subjective. Hell, many things in this world are subjective. Materials, colors, fabrics, and patterns I like aren’t necessarily what you like. In fact, that’s what makes each of us unique. Write that down. MK?

Which brings me to my point: when in the world did we start thinking it’s totally acceptable to walk into someone else’s home and provide unsolicited design advice? Unless you paid an interior designer for that unsolicited advice, zip it.

I’m sorry but walking into a kitchen, and immediately asking why someone is installing black quartz countertops because they’re just “so outdated” is not helpful. My kitchen, my choice. Also, it’s not a good idea to say things like, “Are you sure you want to move forward with these tile selections?” Renovation stress is real, so let’s stick to positive vibes only.

Sidebar — I bring this up because it’s actually been happening in one of my current design projects. And let’s just say, it gets me riled up.

Remember, it’s YOUR HOME. Do whatever makes YOU happy because you’re the one living there. And paying the mortgage or the rent.

Everyone else, SHUSH.

The tile selections in question. And the funniest part? In the end the sub-contractor said, “wow, that actually looks really good.”

Some of you know that last February 2025, I had surgery and was officially diagnosed with what my OBGYN had suspected for years: endometriosis. A chronic, inflammatory condition that impacts 1 in 10 women1, takes (on average) 7 to 14 years to diagnose2, and a condition that receives approximately $4 per patient in annual NIH (National Institutes of Health) research funding.3

In general, I’m a fairly open person, but I’ve waffled on whether to share the next part for some time. However, in May of this year, a good Substack friend, Dani Keen, bravely shared with the world her own challenging health diagnosis. So I figure, if sharing my story can help just one person, I’ll call it a win.

This past January 2026, I made the difficult decision to undergo another surgery — this time a total hysterectomy in hopes of improving my overall well-being. I went into the surgery knowing it wouldn’t cure my condition (as there is no cure for endometriosis). And also knowing there was no guarantee the surgery would improve my symptoms.

A little over a week post-surgery, I received the type of call you never want to receive from your doctor. A cyst had been found on my right fallopian tube and the pathologist was unable to determine whether it was truly benign. After a visit to the oncology department at the University of Minnesota, my alma mater, I’m so very grateful to report I’m OK. But in many ways, that cancer scare changed me.

Over the years, life has thrown a lot my way but with grit and determination, I’ve always persevered. However, as I’ve gotten older, this condition in particular has challenged me more and more. And some days, it’s hard to fight. It’s forced me to be more deliberate about where my time and energy goes, meaning fewer social commitments, fewer client projects, and learning how to pivot when I need to (even if I don’t want to).

If you’re curious about endometriosis, I’d encourage you to watch this documentary which shares the personal struggles of prominent figures like Amy Schumer, Julianne Hough, and Marilyn Monroe (yes, Marilyn Monroe).

As Glennon Doyle famously wrote: Life is brutal. But it's also beautiful. Brutiful, I call it. Life’s brutal and beautiful are woven together so tightly that they can’t be separated. Reject the brutal, reject the beauty. So now I embrace both, and I live well and hard and real.

The necklace my husband gifted me after my surgery. I wear it proudly and am hopeful that in my lifetime, there will be a cure for this condition.

I have a confession to make — I am equal parts nosy and inspired by what ends up in everyone else's shopping carts. And because the numbers don’t lie (just like Shakira’s hips) here are your JULY TOP 5.

  1. A linen duvet cover in a grey and white stripe, for $174.00. Assuming you use this cover almost every night to sleep, for just one year, the cost-per-use here is a no-brainer.

  2. A freestanding toilet paper holder in black and white marble. I own this, my dad owns this, and apparently several of you now own it, as well.

  3. I’m loving these cordless table lamps. I’ve had a number of clients incorporate them on their dining table for additional accent or ambient lighting. This one from West Elm is available in black (shown) or white.

  4. Another toilet paper holder.😳 But this time, the highly rated Moen Align is 50% off in brushed gold. It’s also available, and on sale, in brushed nickel, black, and chrome.

  5. A small woven basket with lid. I used something similar in our Bloomington powder bath project. This would be great to store Q-tips or cotton balls in. Or simply to style your shelves with!

Anddddddd that’s all she wrote. As always, thank you for being here. If you’ve enjoyed reading this post and want to show support for my work:

  • Consider upgrading to a paid subscription! All the cool kids are doing it.

  • Please tap the heart button or share this post (or this publication) with someone who might be into it.

  • Check out my ShopMy Storefront, where I’m always adding vetted home finds that I personally own or I’d tell my clients to purchase.

In the meantime, choose kindness, say “hi” to strangers, be goofy, and don’t forget to hug your loved ones.

Until next time, friends. — Alyssa

Any product mentioned and linked was chosen independently. If you purchase through one of the links, I may receive a small commission at no additional cost to you. So, thank you in advance for your support!

Read the original on wraydesignco.substack.com

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