Emotions at Work: From Ignoring to Acknowledging

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• The cover has fully been designed as well. What do you think of it?

And now on to something that intrigues me enormously.

We are professionals. Adults who make decisions based on rationality, rather than emotions. Feelings only make work more difficult and less efficient. Therefore it’s only normal that we set our emotions aside when working.

Oh, how we are fooling ourselves. Every time I come into an organization, employees act like their work is running smoothly and efficiently because they’re being professional and rational. But what’s the reality?

That project you successfully completed, that new big client you landed, the rapid growth of the organization leading to frequent team changes, the reorganization that caused people to leave, Your new manager with whom you still need to build a connection, the changing market that brings uncertainty, shareholders chasing you for results, an unclear vision of where the organization is headed, that present colleague who ruins the team atmosphere, the difficult feedback you received on your work...

Do these things impact our work? Absolutely.

We’re all human. Everyone feels proud or worries at times. In short, everyone has emotions. Yet, time and again, we pretend as if our emotions don’t play a role. But by ignoring them, we actually they influence our behaviour unconsciously, making us at times act like children. How strange is that?

We can’t turn off our emotions. CEOs who claim they can, do not create a safe organization. Since we can’t turn them off, what can we do? We can acknowledge emotions instead of ignoring them: create space to share how we feel about things to better understand each other, and – if possible – come up with solutions.

When you do that, you’ll see that emotions don’t distract you and your colleagues from work but actually help you work better together, increase the quality of your work, and make you feel better. Research even shows that when you become more aware of your emotions, you make better decisions because you can better recognize your own biases.

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And don’t get me wrong: Acknowledging emotions is very different from being led by them. Employees don’t suddenly become soft-boiled eggs when they acknowledge their emotions. If we say we’re feeling worried about something, it doesn’t mean we can’t work anymore. All we’re doing is acknowledging how we feel, so we can change it if possible, and if not, accepting how we feel. That’s it.

Recognizing your feelings allows you to take ownership of them. You can’t blame anyone else anymore, or run away from your responsibilities. If something is happening, it’s up to you to look at yourself in the mirror and solve it, instead of holding someone accountable for it.

Here are two ways how you can acknowledge emotions in the workplace:

I often ask teams to describe their collaboration with each other in the form of a car. What kind of car is it? Where are they heading? Who’s driving? Who’s in the passenger seat? Who’s in the backseat? Who’s playing the music? Who’s not in the car? And so on.

It sounds childish, but it’s extremely effective because people can share their perspective in all honesty without being a threat to others. Over the years, I’ve heard it all: cars on fire, cars driving while still being assembled, or cars with parts from different vehicles. Every time, I’m amazed at how well the exercise works to give emotions a place and help people better understand each other, leading to improved collaboration.

A check-in works like this: at the beginning of a meeting, you ask one or two open questions that everyone answers in turn, while the rest remain silent. Questions like, ‘When will this meeting be successful?’ or ‘What do you need to be fully present?’ work well, especially later in the day when people have already been working for a while.

Why do I do this? Because mentally, we’re often still stuck in a previous meeting, stressed out by a traffic delays, or working from home with children around. The check-in helps you to be fully present both physically and mentally by acknowledging those things, so you can let them go.

Sharing what’s on your mind often brings relief. If others know how you feel, you don’t have to To beat around the bush, and you can fully focus on your work. Additionally, the check-in immediately makes the atmosphere more human: the hierarchy falls away, and we see each other as people again, rather than just job titles. Need help coming up with a good question? Check this website.

Talk soon,

Marc

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