As a kid, I had no issue dispensing advice (probably unwanted) to my friends and family. However, when it came to my own problems, I was disappointed by the solutions others offered.
Couldn’t they tell that my issues where more complicated, more elusive and somehow different? On the surface, they looked similar to issues anyone may experience, but to me, they always felt so decidedly different.
Solving other people’s problems often feels easy. We reach for the obvious solution and move on. Our own problems, by contrast, feel endlessly nuanced—so complex and ever-changing that they become a kaleidoscope. Shift them slightly, and an entirely new pattern emerges, coloring everything differently and demanding another round of analysis.
If you want to become a better strategist, you need to be able to view other people’s problems through the kaleidoscope, too. The deeper your empathy for audiences whose lives look nothing like your own, the better your work becomes.
Today, we’re talking about empathy: why it’s one of the most valuable skills in brand strategy, and one practical way to strengthen it.
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Sonder is the realization that everyone else has a life as vivid and complicated as your own.
The more you cultivate that mindset, the better you’ll become as a brand strategist.
The biggest shift is learning to stop seeing audiences as demographics and start seeing them as people. Demographics don’t make decisions. People do. And people make decisions in the context of their lives.
One of the simplest ways to build empathy into your strategic work is by asking two questions.
Who is the person you need to connect with? Forget the demographic. Picture one real human being. What does their life look like? What are they worried about? What are they hoping for? Who depends on them?
What tension do they have that your product could solve? Every meaningful purchase is an attempt to resolve a tension. It might be a fear, a hope, an insecurity, or two competing desires. Your job is to understand that tension.
For example, imagine you work for a premium dog food company whose food costs twice as much as the competition but extends a dog’s life by an average of two years.
The person: It isn’t the pet. It’s the owner. Maybe it’s the 30-year-old who adopted a shelter dog during their first semester of college and has now gone through four moves and the birth of two children together. Or maybe it’s the married couple who adopted a puppy a year into their relationship and, ten years later, still jokingly refer to them as their first child.
The tension: For the first time, they’r noticing the gray muzzle, the slower walks, the longer naps. They know their dog is getting older, and they’re forced to confront a truth they’d rather ignore: love doesn’t stop time.
Once you’ve identified the person and the tension, ask one final question: What role can my brand play in their story?
Suddenly, you’re no longer selling dog food. You’re helping someone hold onto a member of their family. That’s the power of empathy. When you understand the person and the tension they’re living with, the strategy often reveals itself.
Look at the following examples and ask yourself those two questions:
Who is the person I need to connect with?
What tension do they have that my product could solve?
Example 1: A smartphone designed specifically for 13–17 year olds.
Example 2: A device that helps deaf babies and hearing parents learn sign language.
Example 3: Noise-cancelling headphones that cost 3x as much.
⭐Paid subscribers: I'll share my favorite (and completely free) place to uncover real human tensions when I'm working on a brief at the end of this post⭐
“The consumer isn’t a moron. She is your wife.” — David Ogilvy
Next week, I’ll tell you my favorite free, $$ and $$$$ resources. Chat then!
⭐Paid subscribers can see my trick for uncovering real human tensions below⭐
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