Your Daily Four Star

Friday. BREAKING: Asked about the sailor went overboard and families are getting messages from crew members at their breaking point, the president’s response was that the record nine-month deployment of the USS Abraham Lincoln hasn’t gone on “nearly long enough.” We are speechless on this, Day 167 of the “4-week war.” Here’s what you need to know.

Asked at Joint Base Andrews on Friday whether the Lincoln’s deployment (now past 265 days at sea, the longest of the modern era) has run too long, President Trump said, “No, no, not nearly long enough.” Told directly that families of the sailors aboard are frightened about their loved ones’ mental health and living conditions, he simply denied it: “No, they’re not.” This is the same week a sailor went overboard and spent nearly an hour in the water, families described crew members messaging home that they hope they don’t wake up, and the ship’s own spouses filled a town hall to plead for relief. Trump’s response is about what you’d expect from a guy who called those who serve and give up their lives “suckers” and “losers.” If you or a service member or veteran you know is struggling, the Veterans Crisis Line is free, confidential, and available 24/7: dial 988 then press 1, or text 838255.

And the war keeping that carrier at sea only got stranger this week. Trump has taken to claiming the U.S. has “total control” of the Strait of Hormuz and now says he’ll declare it U.S. territory. Tehran essentially laughed that off. Ships, meanwhile, keep burning in it. The UAE this week blamed Iran for attacks on two vessels tied to its state oil company mid-transit. But sure, it’s U.S. territory, says the guy who thinks the sailors on U.S.S. Lincoln should stay out there longer.

We Are The Mighty spoke with a spouse of a Lincoln sailor who gave their perspective. This spouse says while some food shortages that were dire early in the war have improved, they remain worried: “I have a healthy level of concern around the mental health care that they’re receiving or not receiving now, and then what that looks like when they are back home.” Still, they tell Americans to keep in mind that thousands of sailors have kept showing up, at a combat pace, under conditions almost no one back home can picture, and deserve to be seen for it. Both things are true: this crew is extraordinary, and it is being asked to endure far too much for far too long.

It’s a hard week to laugh, but the military version of The Onion, Duffel Blog, is still swinging, and this one’s a bullseye. In the satire, defense officials launch a review after realizing Hegseth’s constant warnings that fitness standards are “collapsing” all trace back to one variable: his own age. “The Army lowers standards every four or five years, usually around my birthday,” he explains; at press time he’s ordered the force to restore the exact PT standards from when he was 23, “the last objectively rigorous standards before the military began changing them specifically to embarrass me.”

Did we miss anything? Pop the link in the comments!