I will never forget the day I learned my first grandchild was on the way.
Grandparenting is one of life's greatest joys. It’s “all the fun of parenting with none of the responsibility.” It brings out the silly, little kid in you. At least it has for me.
With all this good news and happy vibes, it’s easy to overlook an important question that could haunt you for decades if you don’t take assertive control:
WHAT IS YOUR GRANDFATHER NAME?
I’m talking about the hypothetically endearing and typically concise moniker your grandchildren will use to replace the formal and stuffy “grandfather.”
Q: What will your grandchildren call you?
Choose wisely and with foresight.
Rarely in life do you have the opportunity to choose your own name. Don’t end up with “Owl,” “Puggles” or “Geezer Guy” as some unfortunate grandfathers have.
It’s not entirely the fault of passive grandfathers. Family pressure plays a role. Increasingly, families are seeking a trendy and memorable name for their patriarch. Respect yourself, my friend, even if your family doesn’t respect you.
I put this guide together for the new grandfathers out there so they avoid rookie mistakes others have made when the clock is ticking to name themselves.
Whatever your grandfather name starts as, the other grandkids usually adopt it and, if you live long enough, the great-grandkids. You take that name to your grave.
If you get a dumb, embarrassing, or unmanly grandfather name from the beginning because you weren’t prepared, there is not much you can do to change it. You might as well engrave it into the family tree with a Swiss Army Knife.
Your name is your legacy, and yours went down the drain.
Your dignity, self-worth and personal branding efforts are at stake. This name will stick to you like Gorilla Glue. Future grandchildren are apt to use it. The kids’ parents will, too. Maybe even your wife! You will see it on birthday cards and cakes.
It might be etched on your tombstone!!
Every man wants his grandchildren to look him in the eyes with love, respect, and, let’s face it, hero worship.
It won’t happen if you allow them to call you “G-Dog” or “Grindiddy.”
Grandfather names ain’t what they used to be. Take, for example, “Puggles.” When I say take it, I mean take it and leave it.
Can you imagine my grandson turning to me as a sage of manly wisdom with the question, “Puggles, can I ask your advice about something?”
According to grandparents.com, “Puggles” is, in fact, a trendy name for grandfathers.
You need to make a few things clear to your family from the beginning:
You don’t want a trendy name. You want a name that captures you, which is why you have veto power over any family suggestions.
What are some alternative names for grandfather?
You can ask Gemini, Claude, ChatGPT, or another version of artificial intelligence for suggestions. I didn't, but it’s a swell idea if you're okay with a “learning machine” naming you for life.
I recommend a helpful article titled “The Ultimate Guide to Grandparent Names.” It lists traditional, trendy and playful names. Below, I cite names beginning with the letter “G.” I couldn’t help but put the most egregious attacks on manhood and common sense in bold:
G-Daddy
G-Dad, GeeDad
G-Dawg
G-Dog
Geezer Guy, Geez
G-Man
G.P., GeePee
Grand-D
Grando
Gradaddy
Graddy
Granda
Grandy
Granite
Grandoody
Grandude
Grindy
Grindiddy
Grumpa
I personally like “Granite” because it has an unbreakable quality to it. Still, it didn’t feel right.
Every name I saw had drawbacks.
“GeePee” takes on a new meaning when you have an enlarged prostate.
What should a wise grandfather do? All these options can tie you up in knots.
There are several books on the market to help you decide.
Here are a few that look promising (I don’t get paid for clicks or purchases):
You Can Call Me Hoppa! The Grandparents’ Guide to Choosing a Name that Fits. Who, by the way, does Hoppa fit? Are we naming a pet rabbit or a grandfather? The names and stories in this book include traditional titles, cultural appellations and names that are perfectly personal and embarrassing.
The New Grandparents' Name Book: Millions of Baby Boomers are becoming first-time grandparents every year, and many of them are looking for grandparenting names that don’t sound old-fashioned or stodgy. With more than 700 names and name combinations, this book makes it fun and easy to make a big mistake.
The Big Book of Grandparents’ Names: This is an excellent resource for those brave, new grandparents who may struggle to think of themselves as Grandma or Grandpa. The section on names from various nations and cultures is invaluable for those seeking to honor their heritage and family history. If you’re trying to hide your family history, well, this ain’t your book.
Many families have stories of how a baby's mispronunciation or unique sound became a cherished name for a grandparent.
Very young children are still developing their speech so that they may simplify or alter the sounds of traditional grandparent names. "Grandpa" might become "Papa," "Gaga," or something entirely different.
Whatever comes out of the baby’s mouth when the munchkin is cooing and looking at you from the crib, that’s it, even if he has gas and needs to burp.
This is not a “naming rights” strategy. It’s a roll of the dice.
Just as you do for your investments, think long-term. Consider whether the name that seems so cute for a toddler will feel right for teenagers. Do you want young adults calling you “Grindiddy?”
A friend of mine, a brilliant real estate investor adept at risk management, took the “let the kids decide” approach and was dubbed “Owl” by his first grandchild. I’m not making this up.
He has several grandchildren now and every one of them refers to him as a character in Winnie-the-Pooh.
Granted, my friend looks like an owl with large, forward-looking eyes that don’t miss a thing. He is as wise as an owl when it comes to money. But, come on, a nocturnal bird that says “Whooo”?
I can imagine his grandson, tearing up on his wedding day, paying tribute to the great patriarch with this toast:
“To Owl, who taught me how to fly ….”
That’s a real head-scratcher for an audience not familiar with the family history.
The ultimate choice was mine, as it is yours. My first pick was “Papa” because that’s what we have called grandfathers on both my side of the family and my wife’s side.
Unfortunately, that name was already taken by the other grandfather (my daughter-in-law’s father), who had older grandchildren calling him Papa, which is one reason why it’s wise to get married and have children at a young age.
You get first dibs on grandfather names!. We couldn’t have two Papas.
My wife suggested “Pops.” I immediately liked it. It has a fun connotation, like a Popsicle on a hot summer day, or “Snap, Crackle, Pop(s)” for your breakfast cereal.
“Pops” worked just great until a granddaughter, at age 3, one day called me “Popsi,” just like the cola, but with a different vowel.
She now yells “Popsi” in anticipation when I arrive at the threshold of their house. She moves her tiny body into a sprint and leaps into my arms with loving, unbridled abandonment. She typically hangs on to my neck as I dance in circles as if she is Belle and I am the Beast.
“Popsi, you’re here! You’re here!!”
I did not correct her error, and never will, nor will I allow anyone else to change what the cutest and cuddliest little girl in the whole wide world wants to call me.
I now have five grandchildren. Some call me Pops, while others call me Popsi. The names have become interchangeable. I cherish them all.
But if anyone starts calling me Poops, I’m changing my name to Puggles.
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