The Worst Student in the Dojo

My dojo has a lot of very amazing students in it, but if I’m being honest, there is one student I don’t like very much.

It seems like this student doesn’t progress fast enough. Techniques - a series of strikes and blocks - are rarely done in the right order and fast enough. The katas aren’t learned well.

Sometimes I think this student should just quit.

Who is the person that I’m being so mean to?

It’s me.

In the dojo, I look across to all the students - the ones who started when I did, the ones who are on the same belt level as me, and the ones who have just begun.

I get excited.

I see their hard work, their practice, and their progress.

And I cheer them on because I see them growing this incredible skill.

I don’t appreciate the hard work the person in the mirror did.

I don’t see that person’s practice time as good enough.

I most certainly don’t see the person in the mirror progress at all.

Instead, I see a rising block that still has the wrist bent a bit. I feel the front stance with my back knee not locked. I get frustrated over a technique that I can’t remember.

Then I wonder how long is it going to take for my brain and body to connect, for the moves to become automatically right.

And I get discouraged and frustrated.

During the Spring of 2025, as a new orange belt, I found this beautiful notebook with words that resonated with me.

I am still mulling this phrase over.

Progress = forward or onward movement toward a destination.
Perfection = the condition of being free from all flaws or defects.

I want perfection.

In karate, or in life, I see those ahead of me, and I want that. I strive for that.

Then, in my striving and trying, I fail.

I am slowly learning that perfection is a frustrating and useless goal because it cannot ever be achieved.

No one can achieve that.

Not in any pursuit.

Perfection holds a high standard and slaps you down with every tiny misstep.

We often justify a pursuit of perfection as a pursuit of excellence, but excellence is defined as being outstanding or extremely good at something.

Excellence is not a synonym for perfect.

The quest for perfection is filled with dangers we rarely talk about. I did a little bit of research and discovered that when we strive for perfection, the focus of being perfect often hinders growth.

I found that perfection can

• destroy our self-esteem,

• redefine success to mean 100% is acceptable but not 96%,

• trains us to be negative,

• teaches us to fuss about with the teeniest details that don’t really matter,

• discourages perseverance,

• makes people avoid taking any risk that might end in failure.

Perfectionism is an unrelenting drive to meet impossibly high standards.

Just recently while working on some of my techniques, I became frustrated when they weren’t as smooth as I would like.

My sensei noted it.

We ended up talking about my frustration. It didn’t take her long to realize -

“You’re a perfectionist.”

(I don’t think she meant that as a compliment. When I asked, she said it was an observation.)

But, as usual, she was right. I was frustrated because the techniques weren’t perfect. My idea of a perfect technique is seeing someone who has spent over thirteen years training in karate.

I had set the goal way too high and taken my eyes off progress.

Which was a mistake.

“Perfection is the enemy of progress.”
Winston Churchill

At its core, the concept of progress over perfection is about focusing on the journey rather than the destination.

It’s about recognizing that growth and improvement are incremental, and that mistakes and failures are a natural part of the learning process.

In fact, what we perceive as failures can be building blocks for our success.

By letting go of the need for perfection, we can free ourselves from the fear of failure and embrace the possibilities of growth.

Progress is about moving forward, even if it’s just one small step at a time. It’s the skill of learning from our mistakes, adapting to new situations, and finding new ways to succeed.

“Continuous improvement is better than delayed perfection.”
Mark Twain

I have not learned this lesson completely - not in real life, not in the dojo.

I know there are times ahead when I will get wrapped up in the pursuit of perfection again.

But that’s okay.

Each time I try and fail at something worthy of pursuit, I grow stronger and smarter.

And that’s good progress.

Let’s get started,
Vicki Virginia