Finding Community as an Adult Equestrian

I have been having similar conversations amongst my fellow adult horse-enthusiast friends recently around navigating “being an equestrian” in 2025. Whether it’s financials, time constraints, family dynamics - there is always something auto-braking the “average” equestrian’s equestrian-related goals.

Today we’re getting into a topic that is so near and dear to my heart: finding community within the horse community as a normal horse person.

To be frank, this was going to be my very first post here on Substack. However, this has been a very sensitive subject for me for the past 3 years (since getting back into horses) and has once again reared its ugly head again in the past several weeks. Given this painful development, I made a decision to push this post until I could speak (type lol) more objectively, since I am committed to not turning this space into a Very Average Burn Book (trust, though, I want to some days!!!)

So let’s talk about some things I’ve learned while searching for utopia, and what I’ve come up with instead.

WAIT! BEFORE YOU CLICK AWAY!!! Just walk with me for a second (please??)

Since coming back into riding, I’ve been looking for a Barn Family™️. The barn where everyone helps anyone, everyone is welcome, everyone does right by the horses and their fellow boarders… That sounds amazing, right?

As you can imagine, this is damn near impossible to actually find!!!!

And I still haven’t found it. But do you see how that search criteria isn’t setting me up for success, right?

So while that perfect Barn Family™️ is still elusive, here is what I’ve got instead:

I feel exceptionally lucky to have met the people I have over the past year specifically, but truly throughout the 3 years of “getting back into it” in my (tough) geographical community.

And they are all incredibly diverse in their adult equestrian realities, which makes conversations like these so much more enriching. I have the pro-turned-amateur friend, the mom prioritizing herself for the first time in way too long through riding lessons, the new(er) mom who is balancing an explosive social media career around horses, Malcolm’s prior owner who was my biggest cheerleader the entire time I had him….

And I haven’t even gotten into the friends I’ve met online through social media that I go back in forth with more frequently than my own family!!

I am so lucky!!

But they’re not a place, and frankly, we’re all kind of spread out. Which leads me to my next point.

I stand by that it takes a village to be:

1. A parent, and

2. An equestrian in 2025

Whether it’s solidarity, an honest perspective, someone to pick you up when you’re in the depths of hell (or join you, honestly)…. It takes a community.

But it would be tone deaf to try to sell the idea that your community is only the people in your immediate vicinity who you see on whatever specific, frequent cadence.

It’s just not the reality of a lot of us in 2025.

But this wasn’t just, like, a quick switch of mindset. Like I said, I’m still struggling with finding solace with the modern realities of a community. But, with that, what’s helped me is looking at that list of criteria that I’m looking for in that Barn Family™️, and realizing I do actually already have that in this incredible group of horse friends I’ve accrued.

Here are some ideas to build your horse community & network outside of your own barn:

1. Cry on camera and have the TikTok go viral (mostly kidding…)

Ok no but seriously:

1. Go volunteer, participate in horse-related organizations and events that you support, and if you don’t have these opportunities in your area, create them yourself!

2. If you’re on social media, interact with your favorite creators and other horse people in your area (please be safe while doing this, of course - but this is how I’ve met several of my real life horse girlies in my area)

3. If you’re showing or riding offsite, talk to other competitors/riders & be a good sportsperson

4. Lastly, support and nurture the community you DO build

Leave any tips you have in the comments for building your horse community inside and outside of your immediate barn! Like I said, I’m still working through this myself so this post is very much a #SistersHelpingSisters POV. Also, if you get the hashtag reference also let me know, & LIOB <3

Until next time :)