Gay Resentment

Hello friends.

I’ve been reading Peter Sloterdijk recently, namely the book You Must Change Your Life. This sounds like a self-help book, and I guess it is, just like Nietzsche was for a long time only considered a sort of self-help guru and not a real philosopher. I only recently discovered that. Okay...

He was very popular outside of the universities with bohemians, nationalists, artists, poets, and so on. I guess he still is, although I did follow a few classes on him at university. But were of course not actually engaging with what Nietzsche said. It was mostly reorienting what he said within the modern-day woke framework, this is the case for basically all philosophy that was not written during woke. The whole high education philosophy project is now just ‘re-contextualizing’ old works.

I remember one girl who looked Indian raising her hand after we read a particular Nietzsche quote, where he says that the Eastern solution is to turn inward. He doesn’t like it because he’s, of course, life-affirming.

She said, “This disqualifies Nietzsche for me, because if he thinks Eastern philosophy is just turning inward, that means he doesn’t know anything about a culture outside of his own.”

This girl obviously didn’t know anything about Eastern philosophy either. When I asked her after class, she literally had no idea about any of it. But she was offended by it.

Of course, the teachers took this very seriously, and they more or less dismissed the whole point with a slight shrug. It was like, “Yeah, of course. That’s Nietzsche” Everybody laughed, in a self consumed way. You should pay attention to these kinds of laughs. If you’re in a bar and there’s some young group of lefty students, all they do the whole night is shrugging and laughing about all the things that’s wrong with the world and all the things that they know better.

That’s just the way it goes. People are retarded. It is absolutely staggering that people are so unbelievably dumb. In general, they do not think about anything. I guess this notion that people are just evading life’s questions until they die is true and even more so in the philosophy department.

Anyway, this general anger with retardation drives me to listen to acid sometimes. I really, really like acid techno. I can party to it.

It’s the stimulating, cold, German feeling of focus: walking fast, Patrick Bateman. Cocaine. Kill a hooker. etc.

I guess it does for me now what punk music did when I was 17. You close your eyes, focus on the beat, and imagine a world where you’re on top. Or maybe not on top. Maybe you’re actually on the bottom. And that’s why there’s a certain resentment in this music, and that’s also why it’s dangerous to get too deep into it. Or maybe it’s just lame to get too deep into in. These techno and punk subcultures are fueled by resentment. It’s no way to live.

Acid is less resentful, though. It’s more apathetic. Less deep. More bouncy, in a way.

It’s a kind of joyful resentment. A special feeling. And I like it.

Here is my acid song: