Denying Access For "Safety Reasons"

I’m planning a month-long stay in New York City this coming November and so back in July I was looking for an apartment to stay in on Airbnb and found one, very small, near Times Square, with an elevator. It also came at a reasonable price. I immediately went for it, since my dates were still available I didn’t want to miss the chance.

I wrote a message to the host, saying a bit about myself and highlighting how happy I was that I found an apartment with an elevator that could “help with my physical disability since I struggle with stairs.”

I do not have problems stating that I have a disability and being honest about my access needs, also because this avoids awkward situations and miscommunications. And I never expect to be treated unfairly or wrongly because of this (naive of me?).

Well, shortly later, I saw that my request for the apartment was denied, and the host wrote me a message saying that “as per my detailed description he couldn’t accept my request because the elevator was out of order and would be for several months”.

Not gonna lie, this message, and the immediate rejection, stung a lot. I immediately wrote back saying that “I understand, but there was no need to immediately reject my request as he could’ve messaged me first to warn me about the elevator and leave the choice to me, since I said I just struggle with stairs not that I can’t do them.”

I mean, I know how NYC is, I am expecting a lot of stairs and didn’t even believe I would find something with an elevator.

Yes, maybe it was petty from me, but when you’re disabled and have had experience with non-disabled people making decisions for you, these kinds of situations never feel good.

The host texted me saying that he “apologizes, but the flat was on the fourth floor (ugh? It was described being on the first floor), that it was for my safety and that Airbnb doesn’t allow much time to accept or reject a guest”.

I decided to let it go and didn’t reply further. I had no time to waste on a dead case and immediately looked for another apartment. There was no point, anyway.

Now, what really didn’t bode well for me in all that case was the line about “my safety”.

This situation isn’t the worst— in the end, I understood the point the host was making, even though I didn’t agree and think it could’ve been dealt differently, but let’s leave it there.

I recounted this whole story to point out another way that disabled people face discrimination, which not many people even realize as such because it is masked as doing what’s best for the disabled person, whereas it just strips us of the freedom of choice, it patronizes us, taking for granted that we aren’t the best individuals to decide for ourselves, and it’s just another way to deny us participation in society and public spaces.

I’ve heard of other disabled people being denied entry to bars, pubs, discos and other places like those, especially if they use mobility aids, stating that it’s for “their own safety”.

But if such a place can’t guarantee my safety, then the problem isn’t me, it’s the place’s and of the ones who should guarantee everybody’s participation.

Again, we are in that realm where a third-person, in these cases a stranger (but it doesn’t always have to be a stranger— many times it’s a parent or both, the caregiver, a partner or spouse, etc.), is thinking they’re doing something for the comfortability of the disabled person, whereas they are actually doing for their own comfortability and of other non-disabled folks who might be around, putting all the onus (and blame) on the disabled individual.

This doesn’t apply only to access and accessibility matters, but also to other more personal situations, such as denying a disabled person to participate in a certain activity or stripping them from their right to become parents and start a family (I’m thinking, for example, of cases of forced or coerced sterilization).

Disabled people should be allowed to take their own decisions, to have bodily autonomy, to weight the risks and the benefits of doing certain things, just like any other person is allowed to. Doing the opposite is a violation of human rights. Period.

Only disabled people can know what’s best for them and what is “safe” or not for them, and eventually take the decisions they want to take with the necessary precautions.

What do you think? Did you have any experience of this kind? Do you know disabled people who have gone through such discriminations?

Let me know in the comments and share this article.