Chair Chat with Klaus, Chris and Rudy: Mr. Schimmelhorn’s Pegging Adventure

Editor’s note: Historically, Chair Chats have been filled with naughty language, immature flatulence jokes and general poor choices of words. If you decide to read on, please note that Chris has slight Down’s Syndrome, Klaus is 20% mentally present and Rudy has the brain of a squirrel. Proceed at your own risk.

Rudy: Y’all really for a ’’Primitive Vernacular Rustic ‘Hedge’ or Famine Chair’’?

Chris: YES

Klaus: Bring it on!

Rudy: From c1800s, England.

Klaus: Right. Ca 1800s, that’s quite precise.

Rudy: When I think hedge chair, this comes to my mind. It just screams famine chair to me.

Klaus: Yes of course, classic Famine Hedge Chair.

Chris: It makes me want to famine.

Rudy: No resemblance to any Alpine chairs at all.

Klaus: Nooo not at all. Made in Switzerland though?

Chris: Doesn’t look Eastern European either.

Klaus: Nope, this must be Welsh. Could it be Far East Welsh, maybe?

Rudy: Very minimalistic front view.

Rudy: But no wobble.

Chris: I think this dealer is flat out high.

Klaus: Drugs would definitely help here.

Chris: Whoever sat in this would have to be egg-shaped.

Rudy: Or perhaps he doesn’t know anything about chairs except that Hedge chairs fetch a higher price than bohemian chairs?

Chris: Hedging his bets?

Rudy: You bet.

Klaus: It’s like it’s made from parts from four different chairs, nothing matches.

Rudy: Such a strange tiny undercarriage.

Chris: Like a little German boy.

Klaus: Those skinny legs under that wide upper carriage reminds me of my neighbor.

Chris: He has a d*ck so big he’s a tripod?

Klaus: Don’t know about his d*ck, but his upper body is a big blob and his legs just stalks.

Chris: When I first saw this chair I thought they slapped a weird chair on a stool.

Klaus: Looks like it, I agree.

Chris: But the legs go through the “battens?” and the seat.

Rudy: True. So this was the plan from the beginning.

Chris: This is the only close up photos in the description. All the other photos show the chair from a mile away. Don’t look too close.

Klaus: I’m starting to think you’re right, Chris. That those “battens” are actually a stool seat.

Klaus: Huh, there’s a circle in the seat.

Chris: I missed that circle. What the?