On Resolve

“The precipice (of breakthrough) is on the edge of making a mistake, so when you fall and fail and f*ck up, you pick yourself up and move forward, having learned something new: You know what it isn’t.”

- Tom Hardy in Blood, Sweat & Chrome

But in the end, it’s not a story of victims. Rather, it’s a story of victors, of people striving, resisting, rising up, standing on principle, laying down their lives, enduring, and prevailing.”

- Daniel James Brown, Facing the Mountain

* Reality is hard—but in some ways, dreaming is harder. How do we cross the gap between what is and what could be? I’m not aiming to solve this tension, but I’ve been sharing a few reflections over the last few months as a fellow traveler navigating the space between the present and the possible.

I know what I’ve done and who I’ve been can’t be explained away. Yet inevitably, the grind of life rails against the creative forces that were once at work in earlier years. I used to feel like I had numerous ideas—or more accurately, ideals—but now, indifference arises more readily than anything else. How do you keep creating when the world instructs in the way of apathy?

An unlikely example comes from visionary director George Miller’s making of the award-winning Mad Max: Fury Road. While six Oscars suggest a seamless final product, the process was anything but. From original concept to release, the film took 17 years to be realized. Once production began, difficulties spiraled as filming moved to Namibia’s hostile desert due to a once-in-a-century storm. The team faced immense physical and creative risks for a vision few understood. When asked why he kept going, Miller said simply: “The real answer is you have no choice…I just had to keep going…You can’t surrender.”

Though the words sound simple, they create worlds. There’s a certain magic in choosing to keep creating—no matter what. In the midst of forces outside your control, the secret elixir to life is shrinking your world: focusing on what’s immediately in front of you, staying grounded, committing to the small things. No matter what, I can decide to show up, even when it’s hard. I can choose to do the work, even when I can’t see where it’s leading. I can remember my history, even when others don’t.

When I began my role at a high school, it was hard sledding. In part, I was in a new field, which is always a challenge. But unexpectedly harder was reconciling with myself: what do I do with who I’ve been? Like a dinner party where only the new you got the invite, the former me—as creator, writer, and communicator—no longer had a seat at the table.

Harder still, if I’m honest, was adapting to how others saw me. No longer did they know me as an author or speaker who’d travel to declare ancient truths. (This was only compounded when a writing project was rejected by a publisher because of the perceived disconnect between my content and current career.) More difficult than the rejection was getting over the question I now dreaded: What do you do?

All too often—both in profoundly positive and negative ways—our identities become enmeshed with our work. But I was in a place where my work no longer aligned with the identity markers I once held. I remember my counselor stopping me mid-ramble as I tried to reconcile who I was: “It’s okay if you can’t explain it…You can still be okay—even if you don’t have the answers.”

Whether it’s a career or a creative endeavor, you don’t need to explain yourself to others. You can give yourself to the mystery of making—even when it doesn’t fully make sense. As my daily prayer app reminded me: “Do I underestimate what God might create out of the ordinary things I do?” You have many gifts—don’t discard them. Play the long game. Be faithful.

“A citadel to creative connection.”

- Cal Newport, Slow Productivity

“Everyone is born a poet—a person discovering the way words sound and work, caring and delighting in words. I just kept on doing what everyone starts out doing. The real question is why did the other people stop?”

- William Stafford, Writing the Australian Crawl

There is an audacity in creating things that have no inherent value. To write, paint, mentor, or invest in your community is to take up an illogical task. Surely, others won’t say this to your face—but there’s a quiet narrative many of us pick up in youth about what is truly worth giving your life to. And when you don’t check those boxes, people may nod in approval while silently wondering: Do they not understand how the world works?

Now, I’m not saying we should glorify the starving artist—I have a day job for a reason. But I am saying more of us should intentionally pursue the spiral staircase of irrelevance and insignificance. There’s a particular freedom that arises when you decide that notoriety or riches are no longer the core pursuit of your life. You become free to dance in a field—often wildly and with whimsy—without caring whether anyone joins the revolution now underway.

As I was making sense of my new life, one of my favorite writers and thinkers, Cal Newport, summarized his approach to productivity with three core principles:

Do fewer things. Work at a natural pace. Obsess over quality.

When you intentionally simplify your life with a minimalistic, almost monastic approach, your dreams slowly—but steadily—begin to take shape. Like a wildflower overtaking a space, a few seeds sown daily can, in time, produce something truly beautiful.

So, even if you can’t do everything you once hoped, you can do something. You have a certain set of gifts or skills endowed by God—meant to be stewarded for the sake of the world. And while it may take years, or even decades, to fully realize that picture in your head, that’s okay. The cultural narrative of quick growth or sudden rising through the ranks is overrated. Reality changes slowly, so show up each day knowing that the future draws near.

As I settled into my new position, I began finding pockets of time in the seams of the day. Whether it was a quickly passing 15-minute break or a few quiet moments before school started, creativity found a way to sneak in amid the chaos of life. (On one of my darker days, I even took extra time in a bathroom stall to write. Probably TMI, but it’s honest.)

One day, unexpectedly, a coworker asked what I was working on. I sheepishly shared that I was also a writer. Just as I was ready to retreat back into my shell, she smiled and said, “That’s awesome—I’m an artist.” In that moment, I realized I wasn’t as alone as I thought—and neither are you.

Keep showing up. Your gifts matter, even in the quiet moments.

Practice – To make it over the long haul, you need to fill your tank so you’re not running on empty. Develop a list of things that nourish you—whether it’s your creative practice, working out, or time with friends and family—that will sustain you for the long run.

Prayer – Lord, I don’t know exactly where I’m heading, but I can’t give up on creating. Today, help me to dream, press in, petition, and prevail over the shadows that seem to follow. And help me remember that you have never lost your heart for me.

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It’s been a busy stretch, so a higher percentage of my reading and watching in this one leans into sports. It’ll balance out over the next few months—I promise 😉. Hope you find something you like!

• Letters to a Young Athlete by Chris Bosh - While a former All-Conference center might seem like an odd person to offer insights for young athletes, I found this book fantastic. Written for a middle school to high school audience, it conveys a vulnerability and honesty that can help athletes on their path toward wholeness and self-discovery.

• Every Moment Matters by John O’Sullivan - While this may not be for everyone, particularly relevant for coaches and parents, it is a much-needed guide for a toxic moment in youth sports culture. As both a coach and parent, O’Sullivan offers insight into how coaches at the peak of the profession invite us into a more compassionate, development-focused approach.

• The Way of Excellence by Brad Stulberg - I’ve long enjoyed Brad’s work. He is one of my most personally beneficial follows on social media, consistently pushing back against influencer culture and narratives of overnight success. He brings the reader back to keeping “the main thing, the main thing” and offers a sustainable, long-haul approach to growth and excellence.

• Other - If you’re looking for a devotional resource for the whole family, we’ve been working through One Story, which focuses on helping kids understand the unified story of Scripture while integrating the many resources from the BibleProject. I thought what Justin Earley was trying to do in The Body Teaches the Soul was intriguing. I’ve seen a lot of the research in other books, but I found his chapter on exercise to be worth the price of admission. Elway (Netflix) was a mostly enjoyable retelling of the Broncos’ rise to prominence in the mid-to-late ’90s. Born to Bowl (HBO Max) was absolutely ridiculous—but in a way that highlights real people’s lives in a world that feels as distant as you could imagine.

“Why did you want to do this role?”

“Fear.”

One of my favorite interviews from the last few years came from a conversation on The Daily with actor and creator Ben Stiller. It’s a wide-ranging exploration of his career and personal background, but what stood out most was how centrally fear has shaped what he’s chosen to pursue. I think you’ll find it insightful as well.

You can find it here:
https://www.nytimes.com/2025/01/11/magazine/ben-stiller-interview.html

Heads-up: the Times link requires a subscription. If you have Spotify Premium, you can also listen via The Daily feed.

“So please slow down.”

- John Vincent III, Untitled #2

Well, I’ve finally finished student teaching and earned my Master’s in Teaching! It’s been a long journey, but I’m proud to have done it while balancing busy kids’ schedules and working full-time. At this point, I’m starting to apply for positions and looking for the right fit for the fall.

On the baseball side, my youngest team is in the middle of their regular season, while my oldest team is competing in their local league tournament ahead of the final regional crossover. Busy, but exciting times!