Welcome back to my Discovery series, where I am using the next 2 months to get my house and mind ready to be a 42 yr old part time law student as a divorced mom of 4 with a full time job.
While not apart of the of the official series, I thought I would write about a planned, yet unplanned, trip celebrating my mom’s retirement. While this trip was always taking place this summer, the start of law school was the uncertainty part. Once law school became official, I thought let me fully indulge and enjoy this trip to the best of my abilities knowing what’s ahead of me.
As much as possible, I would like to maintain some level of normalcy for my family during this life pivot. Becoming a grad student in my 40s with 4 kids, a mortgage, a full-time job and all of the financial responsibilities that are attached to that is no small feat. Trust me I am aware.
But even in all of that, life still goes on. And in the midst of that I still want to try and maintain normal life traditions for my kids and I. For us, one of those things is a summer vacation. Stepping away from the monotony of everyday life to enjoy the simple pleasures of life we usually take for granted.
Spending time together intentionally
Enjoying more of nature intentionally
Removing the pressure of set schedules and responsibilities
So, this summer is no different and I could argue, even more important than previous vacations. While the planning and paying for this vacation to celebrate my mother’s retirement started a year ago, knowing what is ahead for me and my household, I aimed to enjoy it more purposefully.
Now vacationing as a single mom is no walk in the park. Typically, our vacations are closer to home so there is less pressure with things like packing. This was a bit different, so packing for the kids and I took on new meaning, I even had to break out spreadsheets and individual list. It was serious!
But once we made it onto the actual trip, it was so interesting to see how different the kids were on this vacation compared to previous vacations.
At the airport, it was like I watched my son turn into a young man right before my eyes. Being the one who has always carried the luggage and kids (usually at the same time), I held a deeper appreciation when my son carried my luggage along with his.
Watching my daughters hang out for longer periods of time than they did at home, melted my heart. As a parent you wonder if you are making a difference. Are you raising them to be good people on the inside? Being able to witness these little glimpses in real time gives me reassurance that I am doing something right. Even if just 10% of the time.
With them being older, there was less minute by minute planning I needed to do for their entertainment. Not only did I get some time to myself to enjoy parts of the vacation on my terms, but I had a lot of time for reflection.
There is something about being in nature that will cause you to reflect not only on your life, but the whys behind the decisions you make and don’t make.
There is so much in life that we stress over, or let me rephrase that, that I stress and worry over. Being surrounded by majestic mountains has a way of melting all of those concerns away. Reenergizing “my why” for law school along with shifting my perspective while re-identifying my priorities.
What I told myself during my reflection time:
Traci, you just have to take it one day at a time. This time, for this season, you may not be able to have the full semester planned out. You may not be able to have all of the first semester for the kids fully planned out and that’s ok. Reminding myself I am equipped with what is needed and I am open to learning, bending and forgiving along the way.
Now for a moment of transparency, even in all of the relaxing and self-reflection, I still found myself not fully checked out from my real life. I checked my work messages a few times one day, until my coworker told me to stop. So thankful for her!
And on day 5 of 8, I begin working on my to do list for when I return. Honestly, not sure we moms can ever fully turn our brains off. However, there is something freeing about making the list and knowing you cannot do anything about it until after vacation, so that’s a small win too!
For the first time in a long time, I intentionally tried to relax daily and slow down to soak in every moment.
Being grateful for not having to cook or navigate to the different locations. Soaking in all of the views and praying daily I never forget them. Knowing there will be long nights and probably sleepless nights ahead of me and when I daydream, I want to be taken back to these moments only. Reminding myself that I prepared as much as I could for this and that this is not impossible. But step by step anything is possible.
Back to more planning,
Traci
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