You Hate Liars So Much… Yet You Fall in Love with Them

This is my own OPINION mara , Chommie…
I think it’s time you step off that high horse of yours.

Yeah…the one where you swear you hate liars.
The one where you act like deception disgusts you.
Like you’ve outgrown it.
Like you can spot it from a mile away.

Because if that were true

you wouldn’t keep falling for it.

You can never be taken seriously

Because you like being taken for a poes.

Let’s be honest for once.

Not the version of honesty you perform when you’re hurt
but the quiet one…
the one that doesn’t sound as good out loud.

You don’t just encounter liars.

You entertain them.

You sit across from half-truths and call it potential.
You hear inconsistencies and call it “maybe I’m overthinking.”
You feel something is off
and instead of leaving…

you lean in,

ngamanye amaxesha uba sisidenge nje!

Because the truth is

you don’t hate lies as much as you think you do.

You hate being made to feel stupid by them.

There’s a difference.

Because if you truly hated lies
you wouldn’t negotiate with them.

You wouldn’t try to understand them.
You wouldn’t try to decode them.

You would leave
the moment clarity stops showing up.

But you don’t.

You stay.

Not because you’re naive.

But because something about the lie…
feels familiar.

That’s the part you avoid.

You’ve met this energy before.

Not always in words
but in feeling.

In inconsistency that made you question yourself.
In affection that came in fragments.
In people who made you work
for something that should’ve been given freely.

So when it shows up again

it doesn’t feel foreign.

It feels like something you almost understand.

And that “almost” is dangerous.

Because now you’re not just dealing with them.

You’re dealing with every version of yourself
that tried to make sense of confusion
and called it connection.

You say you want honesty

but honesty is simple.

And you don’t trust simple.

Simple doesn’t keep you guessing.
Simple doesn’t make you chase clarity.
Simple doesn’t feel like something you have to earn.

So when someone shows up
clear, consistent, direct

you hesitate.

You question it.
You look for what’s missing.

But when someone confuses you?

When their words don’t match their actions?
When you have to read between the lines to feel chosen?

You call that depth.

And that’s where it all breaks.

And you might as well just sit there and be the side chick.

Because you don’t fall in love with liars
by accident.

You fall in love with them
because part of you is still trying
to win against confusion.

To finally understand what never made sense.
To finally be chosen
without having to question it.

But you’re not healing.

You’re repeating.

And the lie isn’t just in what they say.

It’s in what you allow yourself to believe
despite what you see.

So yeah

step off the high horse.

Not because you’re wrong for wanting honesty

but because you’re not as honest with yourself
as you think.

You don’t just hate liars.

You’ve learned how to coexist with them.

And until you learn the difference

you won’t stop finding them.

You’ll just keep calling it bad luck.

Ndigqibile, hamba uyonwabele ubuxoki bakho.

I’ll go drink my coffee in peace…