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Hello hello salam!
I am back with Issue No. 7 of Growing Together and this one is a little extra special to me because I will be sharing a personal story to talk about things very close to my heart.
Let’s get into it.
Something changed in me when I became a mother. I became afraid. Not of holding the baby the wrong way or forgetting them in the car seat or feeding them the wrong thing. Not of saying the wrong thing at a dinner party or missing a deadline.
I became afraid of roller coasters.
That sounds like a small, odd thing to lead with. But bear with me, because this is not about roller coasters at all.
I used to be the person who ran towards the tallest ride in the park. The longer the queue, the better. I did not think twice. The adrenaline rush, the wind in my hair, it was thrill and no thought. I had this general, uncomplicated faith that everything would be fine, that the ride was not going to malfunction, that physics would behave itself. But that behaviour started fading somewhere in early motherhood and was replaced by something I did not have a word for at the time: the constant, low-level awareness that I now had children who needed me. Suddenly, a roller coaster had new questions attached to it.
“What happens to them if something happens to me?”
“What if something happens to them?”
Heavy, I know.
And not so relevant in my day-to-day parenting. But it hits me like a ton of bricks every time we walk through the gates of a theme park and I realise I am not quite the same person I used to be. So when we planned our family trip to Antalya and the itinerary included a theme park with roller coasters and a water park, I had thoughts.
A lot of thoughts.
It wasn’t just the roller coasters. As someone who can’t swim and has a history of some deeply unpleasant encounters with water bodies, I walked in carrying two things simultaneously:
1. Excitement for my kids, who I knew were going to have an absolute blast.
2. A background voice that had appointed itself my personal life coach and said: “Will you actually enjoy this with your family, or will you spend the time managing your anxiety from the sidelines?”
It’s not a very big deal. I’m sure many parents out there are not fans of roller coasters or theme parks in general. But it is a good example to talk through how we unconsciously project our own beliefs, fears and anxieties onto our children.
You can watch your kids be kids. Or you can also be a kid with them and model some of the lessons you preach. I wanted very much to be the latter on that trip. And how that went for me is the story I’ll tell today.
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