Thigville is a satirical living portfolio about small towns coming to grips with big issues. Art and Words by Scott Thigpen, edited by Heather Herrington.
Breaking News, eventually…
Belmont, MI — After fourteen years of skipping pumpkin spice lattes, Cheryl Dobbins saved $2 million, just enough to afford a home in Detroit. She said she could’ve saved four million, but insulin had a way of eating through her down payments.
Thigville: Obituaries
Went home to Jesus last Tuesday after confusing a bug zapper for a tanning booth behind Crazy William’s Vape & CBD.
From the Gripevine: Thigville’s #1 Complaint App
Inmate (and Dating) Roster: Meet and Bail Out Hot Singles In Your Area Today!
CHARGED: Arrested in the men’s bathroom for snorting Tide Pods, 3rd offense.
LOOKING FOR: Girl with boobs
Thigville Movie Releases and Reviews
It started as a small puff in a tight basin. But with temperatures rising, and townsfolk begging for saturation, Stacks Cumuls knows there’s only one way to blow this thing wide open: Fill the lowlands with thick, pressurized deposits until the entire system gushes clean. With backup from an aging plume whisperer and an eager front scout, the trio goes in hard—and comes out steamy, sticky, and cumulatively fulfilled.
Rating: Not suitable for eyes
After Hours+ (SFW) Pillow Sins Magazine. A fictitious pinup magazine that doesn’t really exist.
Dixon’s modeling career started humbly, posing for the Nascar Sponsors “Turn Left” ad campaign. When Pillow Sins scouts spotted her performing interpretive dance at the Rotary Club Fish Fry (where her act was described as “a cross between clogging and crop-dusting”), she was ushered into stardom.
Murdered By Mrs. Pickens, 3rd Grade Art Teacher
Speaking of those Dollar General Corneas that have been thrust into your child’s skull, the eye in this “art” piece looks like what would happen if Anna Taylor Joy and Sammy Davis Jr had a son that loves drag for the gaze. These aren’t bedroom eyes, it’s more like an eye-witness saying “he went these ways.”
Between the Screens
Hey guys, and greetings from Thigville. I’ve been at this for a year and a half now, every week without a miss and a major reason for that is I love finding quirky and strange trivia. And since half the fun is the rabbit holes, here’s a grab-bag of trivia I tripped over while making this week’s issue:
The first Pumpkin Spice Lattes were only tested in 100 stores back in 2003.
That spice mix? Its roots stretch all the way to the Spice Islands of Indonesia.
In 1996, insulin was about $33 a vial. By 2017, it was $275.
Bug zappers? They don’t really kill mosquitoes, but they will mist insect guts two meters into the air.
The first U.S. patent for a vaporizer was filed in 1927, decades before “vaping” became a thing.
The word “funeral” shows up in Chaucer, 1300s England, and Romans mourned in black togas.
Ancient Greeks believed that if flowers grew on a grave, the soul had found peace.
Thanks for reading, for showing up, for letting me keep this weird little town alive. See you next week, same place, different rabbit hole.
Until next time, here’s your moment of zen:
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