Believe in It a Little. Just don't let it define you.

Some of my favourite conversations with Pushpa happen before seven in the morning.

She’s usually feeding the sourdough starter while I make breakfast. Somehow, before the coffee is ready, we’re already talking about things that most people would probably save for much later in the day.

That morning we somehow ended up talking about astrology. The full moon had just passed, and I was wondering whether I should pay attention to what everyone seemed to be saying about it.

Pushpa looked at me and said, almost in passing,

“Believe in it a little. Just don't let it define you.”

And indeed, this is something we do all the time. We find something that helps us make sense of ourselves, and slowly we begin to confuse the tool with our identity.

It happens in spiritual circles, of course. Astrology. Human Design. Numerology. Tarot. Whatever language happens to be popular at the time.

But it happens just as easily everywhere else.

I've watched people change their wardrobe before their habits.

We discover Jung and suddenly every conversation is about archetypes.

Sometimes we learn the vocabulary of a practice long before we've learned how to live it. I catch myself doing it too. Of course I do. Belonging feels good.

There’s something comforting about finding people who see the world the way you do.

But somewhere along the way, it becomes easy to outsource parts of yourself.

Instead of asking, What do I actually think?, we ask, What does this philosophy think?

Instead of responding naturally, we respond as someone who belongs to a certain tribe. At some point, without noticing, we stop checking reality against our experience. We start checking it against the framework we’ve adopted.

Most practices begin with the promise of bringing us closer to ourselves.

Yet sometimes they end up taking us further away.

Not because there’s anything wrong with meditation. Or yoga. Or astrology. Or psychology. Or any of the countless ways people try to understand themselves.

Just a small example. I’ve practised yoga for years. You’ll almost never find me wearing yoga trousers. I suppose that’s how I’ve always wanted to relate to practices.

Let them change the way I live before they change the way I look.

Every few years there’s a new language everyone seems to be speaking.

A new framework that promises to explain everything.

Today, identities travel faster than experiences. We can adopt the aesthetics of a philosophy in an afternoon. Living it usually takes much longer.

I've always hoped that if a practice changes me, people will notice it in my presence before they notice it in my clothes.

Maybe that’s what Pushpa meant. Not don’t let it define you. Explore it.Let it change you. Just leave enough room to remain yourself.

Because every framework is useful... right up until the moment we mistake it for the destiny we're meant to live.

“Believe in it a little. Just don’t let it define you.”